Hello, awesome readers!
Today we’re going to talk about our “aging society”.
To be frank, I don’t usually think about my age (except when there’s a mirror in front of me).
Actually that’s not true. Lately, I ALWAYS think about my age regardless of whether I’m staring in a mirror.
Why? Because three things happened recently that made me rethink my immortality.
1. An acquaintance asked me if I was retired.
I answered by letting my eyebrows levitate off my forehead. As you can imagine, this lead to a suave recovery by said acquaintance:
“What am I saying? Of course not. You look too young to be retired.”
It was at this point that I sprained my eyeballs. The conversation then quickly switched gears to something more benign like the weather.
To be honest, I forget where the conversation went after that because I stopped paying attention. While the so-called benign conversation went forward with meaningless chit chat and awkward silences, I was stuck in my head having a monologue with my back and other parts of my body:
“Aren’t you supposed to be giving me problems now?”
“Should I be considering a house without stairs?”
“Shouldn’t sound effects like moans and groans be ricocheting off the walls when I roll out of bed in the morning?”
Of course there was no “real” answer from my body. I’m thinking that maybe the aging process is hibernating somewhere and that it will hit me one day like the sudden growl of an awakening bear in spring.
I’m not looking forward to that.
Then this other thing happened.
2. A head-hunter suggested that I remove some of the years off my experience.
Apparently listing any work experience prior to 2004 is a big, fat no-no in the world of professionalism.
So now I’m thinking that maybe we shouldn’t even have years on our resumes and LinkedIn profiles. Who I am today, my experience and accomplishments, are the accumulation of ALL my life – before AND after 2004. I mean, how do you think I got to where I am if I didn’t have a life before 2004? Wisdom highlights and actual expertise are not just grown into overnight, as can be attested by anyone over the age of …
Never mind. I’m going to take my own advice and remove all references to dates, time, and age. I was born whenever. I no longer have a zodiac sign. I am now ageless and zenful as I let my existence surrender into a vortex of eternal timelessness. All knowledge gained … skills acquired … and experiences experienced … are now quantified in a whirlwind that has no date, no time, no present, and no past.
Oh geez. I just sprained another eye muscle with all that crap.
On a more positive note, I actually LIKE the third thing that happened recently.
3. I realized that 8:30 p.m. is now translated in my brain as, “OMG, I get to go to bed!”
How does this translate into a positive?
Are you kidding me???
8:30 means I get to climb into my bed and read!
8:30 means I get to watch Grace and Frankie on my iPad!
8:30 means I get to walk out of the kitchen, or the laundry room, or the whatever and leave all chores to entertain themselves. No guilt. No concerns. And no promises. Only a blissful hop, skip, and jump (yes, I can still do that) towards my bed.
So yeah. It’s true. Someone accused me of being retired. Another person suggested I remove more than half my life from my experience. And I can actually HEAR time now as party whistles and giant confetti canons go off in my head when I see 8:30 p.m. glowing like an angel’s halo from the clock on my microwave.
I’m good with that. Why? Because it’s where I am. Not “when” I am, but WHERE I am.
And it’s not just me.
According to Statistics Canada, we’ve reached a milestone because there are now more seniors than children across the country. (Did I just call myself a “senior”?)
The U.S. has reached a milestone as well. This site states that there are now over 50 million seniors for the first time in the history of the U.S.
So as it stands, I’m not the only aging person in today’s world. There’s a whole bunch of us.
I think it’s time you put out a Happy Meal just for us old folks. Except we don’t want a toy. We want vodka.