I turned 60. And then THIS happened.

Hey there, awesome readers!

They say you should celebrate the milestones, and I 100% agree. Except, apparently, my way of celebrating isn’t quite what they had in mind.

Side note: I’m not even sure who “they” are. In my mind, they’re a quirky group of multi-talented individuals who spend their days in home offices, kittens perched on laps, debating deeply important matters over Zoom like, “If you go outside with wet hair, you’ll catch pneumonia and die.”

Spoiler alert: Wrong. Done that. Still here.

(This is probably the same “board” of people who believe that if you don’t iron your pajamas, you’re not marrying material. Again, wrong. I know someone who irons her pajamas – and she’s been married three times.)

Anyway, I hit a life milestone last week. Believe it or not, I turned 60. Yup. The big 6-0. I’m still wondering how I got here. When I was a teenager, I thought 23 was ancient. Now here I am at 60, waiting for my official membership card to the Golden Age Discount Club. (Fingers crossed it comes with free wisdom and one of those cool motorized scooters.)

When I was a kid, my father once told me that if I swallowed watermelon seeds, a watermelon would grow in my stomach. (Probably because they said so.) I believed him until I was, like, 25. And guess what? I still eat watermelon seeds, and I’ve yet to see any signs of a stomach garden.

Then there’s the one about holding a sneeze. They claim your brain could explode. Sneezing, by the way, is my fave form of cardio. So, I guess I’m living on borrowed time.

On the morning of my 60th birthday – this milestone year – I started my day with a little surprise, and I’d love to share it with you.

I woke up early, as always, and was served coffee in bed by my someone. (Relax. He’s not the surprise.) In the stillness of the morning, I decided to do some banking. Like most people, I handle it all on my phone. I have what’s called an “All-in-One Chequing Account.” Or so I thought.

Turns out, on my milestone day, the name had changed. It’s now the “All-in-One with Senior Discounts Account.”

*COUGH*

I mean, couldn’t they call it something cooler, like the “All-in-One Platinum Experience”? Or the “Wisdom Wallet”?

Good thing I’m not sensitive about my age!

So, if you need anything, wait until next Tuesday and we can go shopping together. I’ll happily share my “senior discount” with you.

Meanwhile, let’s raise a glass (or a watermelon smoothie) to milestones, sneezes that haven’t killed us, and embracing the perks of being fabulous at any age. Even if “fabulous” now comes with a senior freaking discount.

I still can’t believe it!