When a Writer Starts Arguing with Vocabulary

Hello, awesome readers!

Last week I was working on a project and quickly Googled some information I needed. Well, it started off as “quickly” until it sent me down a rabbit hole. My Google search was:

Eastern U.S. states with their abbreviations.

Within seconds, Google delivered.

AL – Alabama
FL – Florida
CT – Connecticut

Two letters. Done. Everyone behaving.

And then my eyes landed on one of the words in my search.

Abbreviations.

And that’s when my brain left the building and decided to have a conversation.

Me: Excuse me.

Abbreviation: Yes?

Me: Why are you so aggressively long?

Abbreviation: I beg your pardon?

Me: Your job, literally, is to shorten things… and yet you’re thirteen letters deep. Seriously?

Abbreviation: It’s called irony. Look it up.

Me: Wow. A hypocrite and snarky.

Abbreviation: I am structurally necessary.

Me: You are excessive.

Abbreviation: I am a linguistic construct.

Me: You’re a fraud. Abbreviation, you have one job. To abb-re-vi-ate. Look at what a great job you do with:

info
app
bio
ASAP
BTW
IDK

Efficient. Clean. No drama.

Meanwhile, you could have made yourself abbr. or abbv.

But no.

You chose chaos.

Are you trying to make up for all the letters you saved in “etc.”?

Are you compensating?

Did you lose a bet?

Because if the goal is efficiency, Abbreviation, this is a hard fail.

And why are we even talking about this?

I’m supposed to be outlining a psychological thriller. You know… layered trauma, fractured memory, moral uncertainty, buried secrets. Normal weekend activities.

Instead, I’m over here arguing with vocabulary.

End of conversation.

I’m back, awesome readers.

Oh! And I have news.

SUPERWOMAN: A Funny and Reflective Look at Single Motherhood – The Sh*t They Don’t Tell You Edition is now available.

And yes, because I apparently don’t do “small,” I created bonus content too.

Dear Guilt, You’re Not the Boss of Me is a free, downloadable love letter to single moms who carry more than anyone sees.

You can grab your copy here.

Meanwhile, I propose we officially shorten “abbreviation” to abbv.

You’re welcome.

Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have fictional murders to outline and unnecessary letters to judge.