One of the things I’m most grateful for is that I’m not part of the dating scene. I hate dating. Worrying about stupid things like whether you have food between your teeth and trying to look cool and collected when you’re not just seems like a waste of time. And energy.
All that to say that Friday night I was meeting some friends at a restaurant and since I was early, I sat down with pen and paper at the bar to write (one of my favourite things to do).
I had planned to write a piece on social media but instead got totally caught up by the conversation going on beside me. I wasn’t actually part of the conversation. I guess you could say I was eavesdropping.
Okay. You could totally say I was eavesdropping. But the harder I tried not to listen, the more it seemed they were talking for my benefit. I think my ears had turrets syndrome.
This couple was obviously on their first date and even though I didn’t know them, two things were obvious: HE was uglier than a sack of potatoes. SHE was desperately looking for a way to leave. Without being rude.
And although I have nothing against ugly people (some of my best friends are ugly), it was his selfish rudeness that got my attention.
Some of the stupid things he said:
“My marriage was over years before it was over.” (Because every woman on earth hasn’t heard that one.)
“My business pretty much runs itself now.” (Oh yes. That AWLAYS makes a difference.)
“I’m the type of guy who believes in old fashioned principles. You aren’t offended when someone opens the door for you, are you?” (Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.)
As I listened to him sell himself I almost felt sorry for him. I said “ALMOST”.
Then I saw her down her drink and shift her body language so that it said loud and clear, “gotta run”.
And what does he do? He orders another round of drinks. Poor, polite lady. I actually saw her slump back on the stool in defeat.
And as I watched her surrender to this very ugly, but more importantly CONTROLLING and RUDE man, I realized that being polite for the sake of trying not to hurt someone else’s feelings is, well, STUPID.
She now had to sit through another 20 minutes listening to the sales job of a man she was not interested in.
Did I mention that it was Friday night? With Mondays being the most recurring day of the week, do you realize how precious Friday nights are?
Just as I was being bestowed with this great revelation on how stupid it is to play martyr at the sake of someone else’s feelings, I accidentally made eye contact with a man who was sitting directly across from me at the bar. I actually saw the “oh yayyy” in his expression as he wrongly thought I was interested.
Then I watched him swadangle himself around the bar to talk to me. Just as he reached me I half turned and said, “keep walking” just loud enough for him to hear.
Without missing a beat, he sucked in his breath and did just that; as though he was on his way to the bathroom or something.
The way I see it, I saved him the cost of a drink.