Last night I did something that I’ve never done before. I watched six hours of TV. And when I say “six hours”, I mean SIX STRAIGHT HOURS.
Yup. I got sucked into the Criminal Minds marathon.
Although relaxing, I ended my night (at 10 o’clock) with a serious case of brain atrophy. Which I thought would be great for falling asleep – and it was – until I woke up just after midnight with the disturbing sensation that a serial killer was lurking in my house.
And then I heard one of my stupid cats hiss. Naturally this was proof that someone was patiently waiting for me to go investigate. I mean, why else would a cat randomly hiss in the middle of the night? (Never mind that my dog likes to occasionally – a.k.a. almost always – taunt and chase the cats.)
Did I get up? Nope. I just lay there with my eyes open waiting for the shadow of my killer to appear in my room. And since he never showed up, I had another six hours of uninterrupted time to go over the seventeen thousands disturbing scenes from Criminal Minds.
What will I never do again?
– Talk to random strangers
– Buy something online
– Twitter about my dinner (actually, I don’t think I’ve ever done that)
– Invite internet service people into my house
– Stop to investigate randomly abandoned cars in the middle of the night
– Tell the fruit and vegetable clerk at my local grocery store anything about my personal life
– Sleep with my eyes closed
I feel like I just took an intensive course on profiling.
PS. Just wait until those Jehovah Witness dudes come back!