Before I get to the point of this post let me just say this: OMG CAN IT GET ANY HOTTER?!!!
It’s so hot that I can’t even muster up the energy to put on a little mascara – never mind blow dry my hair.
And as it turns out I must really look like crap because a homeless-heroine-addict-type looking person hit on me when I went to pick up my daughter – the one with the baby – the one that made me a GRANDMOTHER! – to take her to her doctor’s appointment this morning.
So yeah. My self-esteem is on the polar opposite end of that thermometer that’s telling us how hot it is right now.
And speaking of my daughter becoming a mother, I was thinking about the words of wisdom I received from an older adult when my first daughter was born (many, many moons ago):
“The first ten years are the easiest.”
I didn’t believe her at the time. I was sure that the teenage attitude crap I had personally bestowed upon my own parents would not be returned to me. Not because I thought I would be a better parent, but because I lived in a bubble. And in this bubble everything was perfect. Including my imagined future.
Today, I would love the opportunity to go back in time and slap my naïve self upside the head.
Young me: OUCH! What was that for?
Older me: For being so STUPID.
And even though I’m a, er, GRANDMOTHER now, I still have both feet planted in that phase of my life where I’m raising my own kids.
With my two youngest having turned 12 and 13 last month we are way past “the first ten years”.
That’s right. I’m not only a grandmother but a mother to a couple of TWEEN-AGERS.
With part of me feeling old and wise and the other part feeling over-whelmed and over-whelmed (no, I did not just stutter there), I’m in the mood to share a short course in REALITY for all of you young moms.
Having been a teenager once yourself makes raising teenagers easy peasy because it helps you understand them.
Truth to Myth #1
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Unless if you remain a teenager yourself, you will not be on the same wave length as your teenager. I don’t care how cool you are, you’re not supposed to be your kid’s friend. There are other teenagers out there to fill that position. Your role is to be a parent. Also known as an ADULT who knows better, thanks to life experiences. And we all know what the word “experiences” REALLY means.
After 12 years of raising a child, you will know and understand them and even have control over their “teenage tendencies”.
Truth to Myth #2
No matter how much time you spend with your kids and how well you know them, the hormones will come along and fuck them up. And fuck up your household. That’s what hormones do. And they do come. Oh yes they do. There’s no avoiding the hormones that will render your teenager illogical, irrational, and sometimes even a know-it-all ass-hole. (Yup. I said it.)
Telling children every day for 12 years to brush their teeth, comb their hair and put on clean underwear ensures that they will REMEMBER on their own by the time they reach 13.
Truth to Myth #3
Personal hygiene does not come naturally and you will probably have to remind them until one of their peers – another teenager – makes a comment about their body odour and embarrasses them. No matter how much you want to protect your teenagers from being hurt or offended, sometimes hearing it from their friends has a stronger impact. Sorry.
And why am I telling you this?
Because the first ten years really are the easiest.