Apparently meditating DOES bring wisdom. And clarity.

If you follow this blog, you know that I’m afraid of flying. And that although I’ve been doing quite a bit of it lately, I have this crazy notion that you shouldn’t mix flying with alcohol.

So before my trip to Florida I decided to download a guided meditation onto my iPhone. You know. To help me manage my anxiety attacks during take-off. Only I didn’t get to listen to it during the flight because, Jonathan, my flying partner, needed my earbuds for the flight movie. (Somehow it’s just easier to deal with an anxiety attack than it is with a bored teenager.)

Since I never got to listen to this guided meditation, last night I decided to listen to it before falling asleep.

This is where I discovered that meditating really does bring enlightenment.

The meditation was going well. As I listened to the soft, soothing voice I could feel every muscle in my body relax. Even the hamster was being charmed into an unnatural state of quiet.

The meditation I had chosen was supposed to relax AND inspire, so I was even enjoying t he encouraging words that told me that all things are possible . . . if I focus on my goals “with love and clarity”.

To demonstrate the importance of proper focusing, the narrator went into a little story. A story about one of his “clients” who desperately wanted a million dollars.

Apparently, this client wanted his million dollars so badly that he meditated every day on his goal. Diligently. Until one day he was in a car accident and lost both his arms and his legs.

“And he did get his million dollars,” said the peaceful voice. “Thanks to his insurance.”

That’s when my eyes popped open. What kind of a guided meditation takes you on a journey of DOOM?!!

Can you imagine if I had listened to this while 40,000 feet in the air?

Lesson learned:

Wherein I used to think that alcohol should not be consumed while flying, I’ve changed my mind.

What was I THINKING?!!