I realize that you live under a rock.
Actually, in some shabby basement is probably closer to the truth than a rock. And in a shady part of town. So shady that you’re afraid to venture out into the streets of your desolate neighbourhood.
(Note to your neighbours: this is not a reflection on you. This is directed towards creepy twitter skank. Your neighbour.)
And since you have no friends, you spend your time trying to convince the rest of us that you’re hot.
You tell us that you look like a hair commercial:
But we KNOW you look more like this:
That’s fine. We all do what we have to to get by in the world. Although a mirror might help.
But since you insist on annoying the crap out of me, I thought I’d give you a smidgen of my undivided attention.
My question to you is why do you annoy me so?
I’m not interested in your get-rich-quick schemes.
I’m definitely not curious enough to click on your, um, virtual jolly links.
And if I believed in your free iPad 3 offers I might just be the first one in line. But I don’t believe anything you say.
Oh and in case you think I’ve overlooked the rules of proper grammar, the non-capitalization on your name, dear twitter skanks, is INTENTIONAL. You are not a proper noun. You’re an inappropriate weirdo who doesn’t know the difference between someone who actually NEEDS a penis enlargement and someone who is perfectly happy with her boyfriend’s.
Oh damn. I’ve just stooped down to your level by using the word “penis”. OMG I just used it again.
I’m going to twitter skank hell.