I was going to call this post “My thoughts on traffic” but realized that to be true to this title, I’d have to embellish my story with a bunch of “F”-driven adjectives. And since my father may read this post, I’ve decided to leave out the cuss words.
That being said, not a day goes by that I don’t sit in traffic and swear at somebody. And when I say “somebody”, I really mean ANYBODY.
– Anybody that doesn’t let me in when I want to change lanes. I call these ASS-HOLES. (You have to admit. This word is less harsh than the “F” word.)
– Anybody that talks on their cell phones while holding a coffee cup AND a cigarette. I call these INCONSIDERATE ASS-HOLES.
– Anybody that drives like they own the road. I call these TAXI DRIVERS.
And since I said I wouldn’t go into the specifics of how traffic turns me into a domesticated werewolf on a deserted island, I’ve decided to focus on the positives . . . by listing what I would rather be doing instead of sitting in traffic.
– Writing in a coffee shop
– Hiking through our farm
– Lounging on a beach
– Going to the gym
Notice that I haven’t even MENTIONED sitting on a terrace for happy hour. Clearly traffic is what drives me to drink.