What in my day drives me the most crazy?
Answer: Listening to my teenagers argue.
But that’s not today’s question. Well, not completely anyway. Although it does have something to do with “driving”.
Today’s question is much deeper than that. It’s right up there with “what’s the meaning of life?” and “what can I possibly make my kids for lunch that they’ll actually eat?”
Today’s question is (drum roll please):
“Why do certain drivers insist on driving within two inches of the car in front of them?!!”
I’m sure this has happened to you too. You’re driving along in the fast lane – passing the cars in the lane next to you while keeping a good distance from the car in front of you. Then all of a sudden this batmobile from hell pulls up behind you and insists on riding your car’s rear end until you move out of his way.
You look ahead of you and see a car. You look beside you and see a line of cars. There’s nowhere for you to go yet MR. ROAD BULLY is relentless.
This is exactly what happened to me on my way to work this morning. During the heat of the moment my fantasy was to slam on my breaks with a, “take THAT, Mr. Road Bully!” (In truth, my fantasy had me using another word.) The thought of his car ending up in my back seat made me rethink my fantasy.
So instead I thought about the best invention EVER – if someone would actually invent it. I’m talking about a “back off” button on my dashboard. Pressing it would release a big, fat middle finger pop-up from my trunk with the words “BACK OFF, ASSHOLE!!!” (Ah yes. That’s the word.)
We can send men to the moon.
We can receive email messages from across the world within nanoseconds of being sent.
Why can’t we invent a middle finger pop-up button?
Okay so today has two questions.
PS. In case you didn’t notice, there’s no driver in the picture for this post. That’s because I took it in the parking lot outside my office. What? You didn’t think I’d taken it while driving, did you?