How do you get over a break-up? Pull up a chair. I have the answer to this one.

How long do I have to hold on to his sock before throwing it out doesn’t look like a crime of passion?

They say that “time” is your best friend after a break-up.

I disagree.

Partly because I don’t trust anything “they” say but mostly because I’ve finally reached a point where all that “life experience” I’ve been accumulating is coming in handy. It’s one of the perks of being my age. (I’m not sure if there are any others but I’m hopeful.)

So if “time” doesn’t help you get through a break-up, what does?

I hope you’re sitting down for this.

*Drum roll please*

The mother of all healers is . . .

DISTRACTIONS

Yep. You read right: I said DIS-TRAC-TIONS. (For all you slow readers out there.)

And if you think that driving in your car and listening to the radio as though every song is about you is a distraction, you’re not getting the point.

Other ways to tell if you’re not getting the point

You get all sentimental about finding the last single sock belonging to your now-ex at the bottom of the laundry hamper.
You allow your head to marinate in a bunch of memories – the good, the bad, and especially memories that don’t even belong to you. Like scenes from The Notebook.

So what kind of distractions am I talking about here?

Go to the gym.
Meet a friend for drinks.
Paint your bathroom.
Start learning how to play the spoons.
Buy yourself a new pair of shoes.

You see where this is going right? Each one of those bullets starts with a VERB. Take action. Do things for YOU that have nothing to do with IT.

(The use of “IT” is for non-gender distinction. Plus anyone going through a break-up will agree: “IT” is appropriate on so many levels.)

One of the nice (read: IMPORTANT) things about being single is remembering who you are, what you like to do and the little things that you used to appreciate.

Soon enough you’ll realize that being single is way better than you imagined and before you know it, you’ll be driving in your car and singing to those songs again. This is because you’ll have re-discovered that radio station – the one you used to call your favourite before “IT” reprogrammed your saved stations.

By the way . . .

Before writing this post I Googled “break-up” on the internet – just in case there was better advice out there. What came up was a lot of “Yugoslavia Break-up”. At first I thought this was a sort of named method – like “Brazilian wax” – for ways to break-up.

Turns out “Yugoslavia Break-up” has NOTHING to do with breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend and EVERYTHING to do with politics in Yugoslavia.

With that said, DISTRACTIONS is still your best break-up advice. No thanks to Yugoslavia.