I’ve come to the conclusion that emoticons play an important part in the way that I communicate with my teenagers. Ah but I know what you’re thinking. Not because I’m a mind reader but because I thought it too.
“Yes. In much the same way that crappy cereals play an important part of a balanced breakfast.”
Clearly we think alike. But let’s take that analogy one step further, shall we?
We all know that sugar-infested cereals have no nutritional value unless you eat the cardboard box, which I believe contains fiber. But the job of unhealthy cereals is NOT to vitaminize our children. It’s to get them to the table so that they’ll eat the fruit that we so craftily snuck on the sides of their bowl.
(Look at me. I’m starting to sound like Martha Fricken Stewart here.)
Well emoticons have the same sort of child-rearing function.
Allow me to demonstrate . . .
Last week’s text to my teenagers when picking them up from the mall: I’m here.
What they actually read: You’re late. Again!
This week’s text to those same teens.
Text: I’m here 🙂
What my kids read: Just letting you know. Take your time – I brought my laptop.
Conclusion: Emoticons turn the ordinary mom into a Ninja with super-human abilities to dodge hormonal outbursts.
Our secret weapon: GRAMMAR.