Since getting back with an ex-boyfriend is akin to going to a garage sale and buying back all of your old crap, I decided to do just that this weekend.
Note from the hamster: That sentence is just wrong on so many levels.
To clarify, I did not get back together with my ex and I did not buy my old crap back. I went to Finnegan’s Market and browsed through other people’s crap. There’s just something about looking at other people’s junk that makes you feel better about your own life.
Like this flask for example. I’m a big fan of going through life with alcohol close by but imagine being such a germaphobe that you need a flask with THREE mouth pieces so that when your friends ask you for a sip you don’t have to pretend to have a sore throat.
Or (possibly) worse, imagine only having access to THIS MUCH alcohol.
So while going through people’s old crap was fun, my real mission on Saturday was triggered last week when I met my friend Kathryn for dinner.
“You need to find a hamster for your office,” she said.
Naturally the hamster was all, “BEST IDEA. EVER! Kind of like how (normal) people have visual representations of Buddha. Or Jesus. Or a 1969 Camaro.”
And you would think that finding a hamster would be easy but nooooooo. Apparently everyone wants to keep their hamster. But I did find this stained-glass butterfly, which I thought was cute.
But let’s face it. It’s no hamster.
All that to say that I’m on a mission to finding the perfect hamster figurine for my desk.
PSSST. While the hamster thinks that it’s for inspiration, the truth is that my master plan is to put him in a drawer at night. Because not getting woken up in the middle of the night from feral thoughts is awesome. I’ve heard.