So we’ve all heard the good news. There’s a new baby at Buckingham Palace. Although I don’t remember the world getting THIS excited when my babies were born. Possibly I’m feeling a little sentimental. Or maybe just realistic since the Internet wasn’t invented back then. Yeah. We’ll go with that.
And since I have my black belt in parenting, I thought I should share a few tips with Kate and Will because let’s face it: how good a job they do at raising the royal baby will be a direct reflection on how good a king he is. But really. No pressure because a baby by any other name is still a baby.
So without further ado . . .
Tip #1
Take as many pics as you can NOW because soon enough the cuteness that IS will be the cuteness that WAS. Especially when the Terrible Twos set in.
Oh wait!
But you have the paparazzi for that. Okay. Never mind this one.
New Tip #1
Don’t bring the royal baby into the royal bed. Because once you start that shit you can forget about making royal baby #2.
Oh but maybe that’s not such a bad idea because I read somewhere that being the SECOND royal baby sucks. Okay. You can skip this one too.
Newer Tip #1
It’s okay to let the baby cry sometimes.
Oh crap. Wait a minute! We’re not just talking about ANY baby here. We’re talking about the ROYAL baby.
Disregard. When he cries, give him what he wants. Especially when he starts talking and saying things like “off with their heads!”.
Newest Tip #1
Love your new little bundle of Royal Highness-ness like you’ve never loved anything before because future king or not, he should be given all the same advantages as everyone else. (Except maybe you just shouldn’t use the “F” word around him.)
That’s a keeper. Because all babies are precious.
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