If you’ve been following my Facebook page you KNOW that there’s been a lot of banter between me and the hamster lately.
(And if you attended school that day you’ve likely noticed that that last sentence should be “the hamster and I”. I refuse to put the hamster ahead of me on account of I’m clinically sleep deprived.)
Possibly though, me yelling at the hamster is not really a banter. It’s just me yelling at the hamster.
And WHY have I been yelling at the hamster?
Because it never fails: Night befalls us. I crawl into my bed. I read. I fall asleep. I wake up to find my face under my book. I turn off the light. I roll over and settle in, Content with my day and happy to be tired. THE HAMSTER DECIDES IT’S TIME TO MAKE LISTS.
– Tomorrow’s to-do list
– Ideas for articles list
– The shopping list
– Weird celebrity baby names list
And then I start to worry.
“What if I never fall asleep again?”
“What if the hamster NEVER STOPS TURNING?”
“What if I do fall asleep and miss out on a really good article idea?”
And so to get myself to stop worrying I turn the light back on, pull out my iPad and continue with the hamster’s weird celebrity baby names list . . .
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin named their daughter Apple. I’m not sure if this is to honour fruit or their computers.
Steven Spielberg named his son Destry. Oddly enough I couldn’t find any pics of Destry on the Internet. Way to go, Steven!
Courteney Cox and David Arquette named their daughter Coco. Possibly because “Coco Puffs” was too long in their opinion. (Geesh.)
Bono named his daughter Memphis Eve. And you know what she’s asking in this pic, right? “But, dad. WHY DID YOU CALL ME MEMPHIS EVE?”
A noun. A made-up name. A cereal. And the night before a location.
THIS is why the hamster won’t let me sleep at night.