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You are here: Home / Non-travelling Adventures / I’m a WiFi slut. Don’t judge me. I’m also a dictionary.

I’m a WiFi slut. Don’t judge me. I’m also a dictionary.

August 7, 2013 by Mona Andrei Leave a Comment

 

My view during yesterday’s UNconnected  panic attack.
My view during yesterday’s UNconnected panic attack.

 

Happy middle-of-the-week, awesome Moxie-Dude readers!

Today I have a question for you. One that challenges “us” – you, me and even your Facebook-addicted grandmother – as generations across the board evolve into products of our own devices.

Have you been unconnected recently? How did that make you fee?

Okay. That was two questions. But before you answer the second one, notice the use of UNconnected –vs- DISconnected. There’s a difference, you know.

Oh you don’t know?

Well let me explain.

DISconnect has a voluntary innuendo whereas UNconnect signifies a sudden panic attack-induced condition due to loss of, well, connection.

Here’s the difference used in sentences:

“I’m going to disconnect today so that I can focus on my work.” (Voluntary.)

“I can’t believe my server was down yesterday and left me unconnected. ALL. FRICKEN. DAY.” (Involuntary.)

See the difference?

So here’s where I’m going with this . . .

Yesterday I had an appointment to have my oil changed. Well, not MY oil, silly. My car’s. Two hours, they told me. And since my appointment was in the middle of the workday I thought, “no probs, Bob. I’ll bring my laptop and work from the waiting room. Because WiFi these days is like air. It’s everywhere.”

No offence to Bob but as great a plan as that sounded when I made the appointment, the WiFi connection at my car dealer wasn’t working. (Coincidence?) Hence my state of UNconnectedness.

So there I sat, laptop on lap, going through my mental “Ommm” exercises to try to calm down the hamster as he ranted and raved in panic mode (“the deadlines are looming, the deadlines are looming and why do we even have a laptop anyway if we can’t use it at the car dealer?!!!”)

Suddenly I had a thought:

My children are healthy and safe. I’m healthy and safe. WHAT’S THE PROBLEM? So what if I can’t connect to the internet with my laptop for a few hours? And besides, I have my phone that connects to the internet so HOT SPOT.

And then I had another thought:

OMG, I can’t even go a few hours as an UNconnected individual without my brain and the hamster’s brain going haywire in a nonfunctional kind of way! What is wrong with this day and age?

Which naturally led to this thought:

It’s not the day and age’s fault. It’s . . . THE INTERNET’S FAULT.

And just as I was about to Tweet that very same profound statement, I realized that my phone had only 9% power and I didn’t bring my charger with me.

That’s when the hamster REALLY started to panic: OMG WE COULD DIE HERE AND NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW.

PS. Wondering where the word “WiFi” comes from? It stands for Wi(reless)-Fi(delity).

Although clearly the word “fidelity” means something else here.

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Filed Under: Non-travelling Adventures, Pretending to be a grown-up, Random, Technology (sort of), That effin hamster

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