Happy Day to you, awesome Moxie-Dude readers!
*Ok. Deep breath . . .*
Have you ever looked at something while thinking that you should totally turn away because you KNOW that you’re never going to be able to unsee what you’re looking at – only to realize that your eyes have suddenly developed turrets syndrome, and that you CAN’T look away?
Well last week I happened on a video of a dolphin masturbating with a dead, headless fish. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that I didn’t need to use the word “dead” because OF COURSE.
And you’re right. In my defense, I’m still disturbed by what I saw.
So to help myself feel better about the whole self-caressing dolphin thing I tried to get Greg to watch it. Clearly I subscribe to “misery loves company”.
Conclusion: Now he thinks he’s better than me because apparently his eyes don’t get turrets syndrome.
Me: Come watch this video. It’s fascinating! (Notice my use of the “teaser strategy”.)
Greg: Sure. What’s it about?
Me: A dolphin. Masturbating. With a headless fish.
Greg: I don’t want to see that! Why would you think I’d want to see that? And why are YOU looking at that?!!
Me: It’s nature. David Suzuki would watch it. In fact, he’s probably the one filming the whole thing. Which makes it endorsed by the David Suzuki Foundation.
*Sound of door slamming as Greg walks out of the room.*
And so now I’m stuck – BY MYSELF – with this stupid video image in my head – FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
PS. I purposely didn’t add the link to the dolphin video because I care about you. So here’s something else instead. It’s a shark. Because frankly, I’m a little turned off of dolphins right now.