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Moxie-Dude

Laughing at life’s chaos since… well, forever. Award-winning humour blog from Mona Andrei, proof you’re not the only one winging adulting.

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You are here: Home / Boyfriend stories / Mother Nature: What are you thinking sometimes?!!

Mother Nature: What are you thinking sometimes?!!

November 18, 2013 by Mona Andrei 14 Comments

Happy Day to you, awesome Moxie-Dude readers!

*Ok. Deep breath . . .*

Have you ever looked at something while thinking that you should totally turn away because you KNOW that you’re never going to be able to unsee what you’re looking at – only to realize that your eyes have suddenly developed turrets syndrome, and that you CAN’T look away?

Well last week I happened on a video of a dolphin masturbating with a dead, headless fish. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that I didn’t need to use the word “dead” because OF COURSE.

And you’re right. In my defense, I’m still disturbed by what I saw.

So to help myself feel better about the whole self-caressing dolphin thing I tried to get Greg to watch it. Clearly I subscribe to “misery loves company”.

Conclusion: Now he thinks he’s better than me because apparently his eyes don’t get turrets syndrome.

Me: Come watch this video. It’s fascinating! (Notice my use of the “teaser strategy”.)

Greg: Sure. What’s it about?

Me: A dolphin. Masturbating. With a headless fish.

Greg: I don’t want to see that! Why would you think I’d want to see that? And why are YOU looking at that?!!

Me: It’s nature. David Suzuki would watch it. In fact, he’s probably the one filming the whole thing. Which makes it endorsed by the David Suzuki Foundation.

*Sound of door slamming as Greg walks out of the room.*

And so now I’m stuck – BY MYSELF – with this stupid video image in my head – FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

PS. I purposely didn’t add the link to the dolphin video because I care about you. So here’s something else instead. It’s a shark. Because frankly, I’m a little turned off of dolphins right now.

Shark

photo credit: chemicalmonkey via photopin cc

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Filed Under: Boyfriend stories, Non-travelling Adventures, Pretending to be a grown-up, Random

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kim says

    November 18, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    Great – now I have to google the whole dolphin masturbating with a dead headless fish thing!!!
    The funny thing is I’m sure that my oldest son would be the exact same as your son!!!

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      November 18, 2013 at 10:20 pm

      lol – Kim, Greg is my BF! All good. I’m pretty sure my son would throw-up. Mostly from the embarrassment.

      Reply
  2. Tiffany @ MyDirt.ca says

    November 19, 2013 at 4:25 am

    You just gave shark week a whole new meaning. Thanks for the giggle.

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      November 19, 2013 at 11:27 am

      You’re welcome, Tiffany. And thanks for visiting! Hugs 🙂

      Reply
  3. Kyla@Mommy's Weird says

    November 19, 2013 at 8:21 pm

    YOU KILL ME!

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      November 19, 2013 at 9:55 pm

      Good. Then we’re even! Hugs 🙂

      Reply
  4. Christella says

    November 19, 2013 at 9:50 pm

    Umm… I just wrote about Dolphins.

    http://www.crawltheline.com/2013/11/dolphins-suck.html

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      November 19, 2013 at 9:55 pm

      Which totally makes us related.

      Reply
  5. Courtney says

    November 20, 2013 at 2:49 am

    I think I need some brain bleach just thinking about this!

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      November 20, 2013 at 11:53 am

      “Brain bleach”! LOVE that!!!

      Reply
  6. RageMichelle says

    November 20, 2013 at 4:41 pm

    I work in IT with a bunch of younger guys. They told me about two girls and one cup. Talk about never being able to unsee something. Damn. And I only saw about a second and a half of it. The little bastards.

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      November 21, 2013 at 12:18 pm

      OMG – I remember hearing about that years ago! You mean that tea cup thing is still going around? (It WAS disturbing.)

      Reply
  7. The Animated Woman says

    November 30, 2013 at 10:28 pm

    I never ever want to see two girls and one cup. NEVER!
    With my overactive imagination it’s sure to be an unshakeable brain-clinger. Having said that, I’m super curious about the dolphin now….

    Curse you!

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      December 1, 2013 at 12:17 pm

      lol – The Animated Woman, I. Am. So. Sorry. (No I’m not.) 🙂

      Reply

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