Happy Hump Day, awesome Moxie-Dude readers!
Okay so here’s the story. I had planned to do the non-regular “Wordless Wednesday” but as it turns out I have something to say.
And it’s important.
It all started when someone by the name of Caroline Berg Eriksen posted the selfie above just a few days after giving birth and the Internet went crazy with craziness.
Who is Caroline Berg Eriksen?
That’s not the point but if you must know, here’s the Toronto Sun story.
Here’s the point . . .
As women we are such hypocrites
On the one hand we support and encourage each other and when one of us does a little good in the success department (read: takes a few steps towards our goals) we pat each other on the backs and say things like, YOU GO, GIRLFRIEND!!!
But as soon as that same back is turned something happens. We compare our friend’s achievements to ourselves – even though she is she and we is we – and suddenly we get all a fluster and hate her for her success . . . or nice hair . . . or flat stomach . . . or whatever.
We’re told all the time – by EACH OTHER – to raise our level of confidence and “show the world”.
But then as soon as we do, we pounce on each other and project our insecurities onto the success of our “friends”.
We’re all good when someone comes out of the self-critiquing closet and flaunts her so-called “faults” but as soon as someone does the same with a quality it becomes a game-changer. Why is that?
That’s just CRAZY and here’s why
Have I ever told you my age? Well I’ll be 49-years old next month. That’s right. I’M ALMOST 50.
I know that sounds old to some of you. Ancient even. But guess what? I’m still me. I’m still happy with what I see in the mirror (on most days). I can still out-run my kids. And I can still touch my toes.
BUT . . .
I know that I’ll never be as good as I once was. Those days are over.
The perky eyelids of my 20s are gone, replaced by gravity-inspired hoods.
The smooth kneecaps of my 30s are gone, replaced by gravity-inspired elephant skin.
(Damn you gravity!)
But once upon a not-so-long time ago, I could shine my youthful glow with the best of them – but did I appreciate it?
Nope. I was too busy worrying about what people were thinking.
Today I don’t give a rat’s ass what people think (one of the perks to being my age) but now that those days are gone, I WISH I had had the confidence to appreciate my non-gravity-inspired skin and glow. Not to put it in other people’s faces – but to APPRECIATE me for myself at that time.
All that to say . . .
Ladies, shut the fuck up AND FLAUNT WHAT YOU GOT
It’s bad enough we have to listen to the voices in our own heads.
And never mind expressions like “if you’ve got it, flaunt it”.
We ALL got something. SO FLAUNT THAT!
I’m not saying to go out and be a bitch about it. I’m just saying “APPRECAITE WHAT YOU GOT – cuz before you know it, it’ll be hoods and elephant knees and it won’t matter that you made someone else feel insecure. That’s their problem.
The end.
Oh wait! One more thing . . .
There’s nothing more beautiful than confidence. (I didn’t say “arrogance”, I said CONFIDENCE.)
Now it’s the end.
YES! Love this and uh, thank you for saying it. 🙂
Thanks, Leanne. To be honest, I wasn’t sure how it was going to be received. It was just one of those things that needed to be said. Thank YOU for your kind words. Hugs 🙂
You girl, are a goddess. Great post.
Thanks, Kyla – and great support! Hugs 🙂
You nailed it on the head. Exactly. I want to be that person. I want to be that person who can support all woman for everything good they have, including washboard abs. Thank you for writing this!
You’re so welcome, Tiffany! I aspire to be that person every day as well. It’s a great feeling 🙂
Great post – thank you!
She does have great boobs and awesome abs. I have great eyes and an awesome laugh 🙂
Good observations, Astra! Not only about her boobs and abs but about YOUR qualities. High five, sista!!!
Thanks for writing this Mona. I couldn’t agree more. Women need to stop tearing eachother down. If we lift others it will only bring us higher.
Absolutely right, Amber! And thanks for visiting and taking the time to comment. Hugs 🙂
I feel EXACTLY the same way! When I saw that picture all I could think was she has a flat belly 3 days postpartum because she took care of herself before and during pregnancy. Peoples outrage is more at themselves then her but it comes out as attacking her which is really sad. I want to be a confident person, I’m getting there but it’s taking time and a switch to mindset. 🙂
I love it when someone can admire another’s quality. And in this case, it would have been hard work for her to stay in that kind of shape. Kudos to her! And kudos to YOU for recognizing that 🙂
amen sista!!
Thanks, Shash 🙂
Well said Mona! I’m so tired of seeing women put each other down. Imagine how amazing it would be if we all became supportive of one another.
If we all became supportive of one another FOR REAL – That’s the key 🙂
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this!!! So glad you skipped wordless Wednesday!!!
I agree – who cares what others think – flaunt what you have!!!
Thanks, Kim!
Yep. Nailed it.
Thanks, Catherine 🙂
Exactly…..what you said! 🙂
Thanks, Liz! Glad you agree 🙂
Wow. Good for her. I ran through all of my pregnancies and didn’t look like that after. But then again, I didn’t look like that before. LOL More power to her! Personally I’m not into the whole selfie thing but I don’t really care what other people do. It would be nice if we were a little less judgmental, wouldn’t it?!
Yes it would, Michelle. That’s exactly my point 🙂
Love this. So true.
Thanks, Fariha 🙂
Thanks. I don’t need to look like a girl. I’m a woman! My kids and my husband think I’m pretty and they are right! I’ve earned every jiggle and wrinkle I’ve got.
It’s ok to look like I’ve had kids….. I’ve had three beautiful smart talented children and I’m proud to be their mom!
Who told us we shouldn’t like ourselves?
I’m hot and I don’t have to look like I’m a teenager with no kids!
Exactly my point. We all come in different shapes and sizes and we’re all beautiful. We should flaunt what we got with pride – not worrying about how others look or how others judge us.
Mona, this is excellent. I couldn’t have said it better.
Thanks, JC. Means a lot 🙂
Great post. Loved One nailed it for me when he said, “no matter how much you weigh you always have five pounds to lose.” Looking back, I wonder where those five pounds were that I so desperately wanted to rid myself of. What did I see. Now at age 62, I’m fine with a little extra “Reserve” weight. It smooths out some of the wrinkles.
Thanks, Adela! I’ll bet that you’re perfect just the way you are. So happy that you recognize that 🙂
RIGHT ON!!! I couldn’t agree with you more. Wonderful post 🙂
Thanks, Tasha! Means a lot. 🙂
I think we all have insecurities, and often compare our “worsts” to others’ “bests”, and that is never a good path to go down.
Amen!! My body doesn’t look the same as it used to, but that’s fine with me because that other body hadn’t birthed three awesome kids or eaten all those yummy cookies!! LOL!
You’re exactly right. I’m 44 and something magical happened when I hit my forties. I just don’t worry anymore about stuff like that (like you were saying). It’s wonderful! And no matter what sags, I think it was a fair trade.
Thanks for (humorously) pointing out the absolutely ludicrous hypocrisy we women perpetuate when we involve ourselves in the you-go-girl/I-hate-her crazy cycle. Happy SITS Day!
SO unbelievably true! Women can get a little nutty in the competition department but I love the last line about confidence. That looks good on everyone! Well said…
Visiting from SITS. Enjoy your day as queen blogger 🙂
So many great points here. We love to build people up, then enjoy it when they fail. It is called pull-her down syndrome. I spent way too much time obsessing about my looks in my 20’s. While I was tanning my too white skin and putting on face masks my husband was out having experiences and trying new things. Not ’til after I met him and he refused to wait for me to perform all my beauty treatments before going out did I realize I was wasting my time.
Congratulations on your SITS Day.
Preach. That. Thank you. I am trying to lose weight, and I am hard on myself sometimes and sometimes resentful of people who seem to have it easier, and I need to get over my freaking self. Thank you.
I second that! But I just turned 57 and have advanced to the stage of having to choose between gray hair or no hair. All the coloring to cover the gray has done its damage over time and now I just want to keep my thinning hair from further thinning. It would be nice if it would grow as ferociously as it is attempting to grow out of my chin. I don’t know what that’s all about. We have to embrace whatever each age brings and not focus on the little annoyances because they never go away. Each decade brings some new unwanted blemish and it gets to be too much work to hide all of ’em.
My kid is two and I don’t look anywhere near that. I love this post and totally agree!
Saying hi from SITS girls!
Loved this post! That said, I still want to flick her ear or something every time I see this picture. Part jealousy and part you-have-a-PERFECT-body-and-are-gorgeous-why-post-this-underwear-selfie-and-not-something-tasteful?
Amen! I wish more women would be self-accepting and proud to flaunt what they’ve got, and other women would cheer them on instead of hating. The amount of nastiness we fling at each other out of jealousy is just ridiculous!
Happy SITS day!!
Very well said! It is just so sad how counterproductive we are about this whole movement. I don’t know if you can even call it a movement when we’re all moving in different directions! I don’t know what it is that makes women this way. But it’s very sad.
I agree confidence is attractive. I am no near my 50s, actually ot even near my 30s but am still one of those girls giving themselves a hard time about looks. I just wish this spring will be different for me and I will do it and give myself a break and enjoy life!
This is a fantastic post! I AM 49 and I tell my kids (who I can also outrun!) that the person I see in the mirror is the same person I saw when I was 10 – I feel the same and, except for the time/gravity induced special effects, I look the same to me. I don’t feel “old”, just a bit less frisky, maybe. If I had anything flaunt-worthy, you bet I’d be putting it out there for the world to see – NOT the attitude I had when I was flauntable – a strange paradox indeed.
Thanks, Lisa! It’s funny how we never really change “inside”.
Mona, I think you’re beautiful…In every way. You go, girlfriend!