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You are here: Home / Hamster Ramblings / I’m popular. I know this because my bra calls me.

I’m popular. I know this because my bra calls me.

December 11, 2013 by Mona Andrei 12 Comments

A glimpse into the not so distant future. Or something.
A glimpse into the not so distant future. Or something.

Happy Hump Day, awesome Moxie-Dude readers!

So imagine this . . .

After a very long day at work and an hour of fighting through traffic, you step out of your car and are about to open the front door and commence the third shift of your day.

You know. The one that includes cooking, cleaning up, homework and a load or two of laundry in between.

You’re tired and a little overwhelmed but you know you’ll get it done because adrenaline. And because you have hungry kids with cranky needs on the other side of that door.

Your cell phone rings.

You juggle the groceries that you picked up on the way home and reach into your purse to dig out your phone. Only you’re not calling it “a phone” right now. No, at the moment your lovely little can’t-live-without device comes with a qualifying adjective that isn’t the word “lovely”.

Who could possibly be calling you?

Is it your boss? Nope.

Your mother? Nope.

One of your kids? Nope.

It’s your bra.

I kid you not.

Researchers over at Microsoft are working on a sensor-filled bra – because apparently filling it with boobs isn’t enough.

The purpose of these sensors?

To advise you through an app on your phone when you’re stressed and most likely to head on over to the fridge to eat your emotions.

So not only will us girls have the voices in our heads to contend with, soon we’ll have our unmentionables on the seat of their pants (so to speak) just waiting to alert us when we’re on the verge of “danger” (read: eating caused by stress).

So what are they calling this invention?

“The Smart Bra.” What else?

I just have one more question:

People all over the world are DYING from diseases that we can’t seem to find a cure for and you’re working on a bra to keep us from eating???

Let me guess. A man invented this, right?

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Filed Under: Hamster Ramblings, Kids, mom adventures, Non-travelling Adventures, Raising teenagers, Random, Solutions to world problems, Technology (sort of)

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Anne @ FoodRetro says

    December 11, 2013 at 2:52 pm

    I think this is about the most effed up thing ever. A) I don’t need a text message from Microsoft to let me know when I’m stressed, I’m quite aware of when it happens already. B) Why would I want a company collecting that sort of data about me. C) Can you IMAGINE the text message that they send? I’m imagining something along the lines of “U R Strssd. Styawy frm frdge fatty.”

    D) (biggest gripe) Other factors contribute to making people fat other than just stress eating. Cripes. Does it also text you “Tm 4 brk, U hv bn wrking @dsk 2 long. Tke a walk.” or “UR not dng UR Wed. Zumba, we cn tell” ? No.

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      December 11, 2013 at 4:00 pm

      lol – If this was a multiple choice I would have to tick off “agree with all of these”!

      Reply
  2. RageMichelle says

    December 11, 2013 at 4:42 pm

    My bra would just call and mock me.

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      December 11, 2013 at 4:54 pm

      lol – That’s funny! We should tell Microsoft to add voice mail for mocking bras.

      Reply
  3. Ona says

    December 11, 2013 at 5:29 pm

    See? THIS is precisely why I’ll never have an iphone. My big-a$$ bra would text me just to say:

    “Where’s that 40 lbs you said you’d lose this year, b^tch? Look down..I’ll show ya!”

    Boob conversations never end on a positive note.

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      December 11, 2013 at 7:19 pm

      lol – Too funny!

      Reply
  4. SHELLEY R ZUREK says

    December 14, 2013 at 7:03 pm

    Many frivolous devices are created each day but from these frivolities often come great ideas that HELP mankind. Never minimize something that is not negative.

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      December 14, 2013 at 7:08 pm

      There’s a lot of truth in that, Shelley 🙂

      Reply
  5. Kyla @ Mommy's Weird says

    December 15, 2013 at 8:12 pm

    Damn you are good. I just had to tweet this. LOL. Smart bra… please?

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      December 15, 2013 at 8:23 pm

      I KNOW!

      Reply
  6. Meredith says

    December 28, 2013 at 11:10 pm

    Unless a smart bra can lift my tits and give the tops back, its not that smart.
    xo,
    Meredith
    badsandy.com

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      December 28, 2013 at 11:25 pm

      Yup. Have to agree with you there! PS. How’s your vacay going? 🙂

      Reply

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