• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Home
  • About
  • Hire a Moxie-Writer
  • Speaking
  • Contact
  • NEWSLETTER
  • Books
  • Single Moms with Moxie podcast

Moxie-Dude

Life updates gone wrong. Or right. I'm undecided.

  • #KitchenFails
  • Writing
  • Teenagers
  • Hamster Ramblings
  • Aging and its niceties
  • Shared Thoughts
You are here: Home / #KitchenFails / I’m thinking of starting my own cooking show. I’m calling it “Top Kitchen Fails”. Or possibly “Survivor”.

I’m thinking of starting my own cooking show. I’m calling it “Top Kitchen Fails”. Or possibly “Survivor”.

December 16, 2013 by Mona Andrei 20 Comments

Banana Bread Fail
Banana Bread Fail

Happy Day to you, awesome readers!

With all my kitchen fails, my friend Goeff can’t understand why my kids don’t suffer from mal-nutrition.

“I cook,” I tell him (often). “I just don’t cook WELL.”

And so I suppose it should come as no surprise when yesterday I tried to bake a banana bread and ended up with . . . something else.

It was actually a learning experience for me because I got to discover that burnt AND raw at the same time is a thing. Who knew?

(For the record, I tried to channel Julia Child to help me transform yesterday’s kitchen fail into something gooey and flambé but apparently she’s ignoring me.)

So in my defence of yesterday’s disaster, I’ve decided to represent myself in this case:

I present you with . . .

*Drum roll, please*

The recipe I downloaded from the internet

353_B

Let’s start with Exhibit “A”, shall we?

“Simply” would insinuate “simple” or “dummy-proof” or better yet “fail-proof”.

This is a lie.

Exhibit “B”

In my family we’ve always put butter ON our banana bread so putting it IN the recipe doesn’t make sense to me. This is why I replaced the butter with milk.

Apparently, that wasn’t such a good idea. But you get my logic, right?

Exhibit “C”

I bake almost never so baking soda is not something you’re likely to find in my kitchen – unless if it’s stashed in a corner of a cupboard somewhere. In which case it’s probably been there for five or six years. I don’t even know what baking soda does and saw no harm in skipping this ingredient.

Apparently, that wasn’t such a good idea either. In my defence, baking soda is something people clean their teeth with so why would I put it in a food recipe?

Exhibit “D”

Why cook something at 350 degrees for an hour when you can cook that same something at 450 degrees for 40 minutes?

Apparently, this also wasn’t such a good idea.

PS. A few of you have contacted me with thoughtful messages about really good and EASY banana bread recipes. Please feel free to forward them to me so that I can get my daughter to make us real banana bread. And by “real” I mean edible.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Share with your followersShare on facebook
Facebook
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on email
Email
Share on stumbleupon
Stumbleupon
Share on buffer
Buffer
Share on diggit
Diggit
Share on pinterest
Pinterest
Share on reddit
Reddit
Share on tumblr
Tumblr

Filed Under: #KitchenFails, mom adventures, Non-travelling Adventures, Pretending to be a grown-up, Random

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kim says

    December 16, 2013 at 7:55 pm

    Oh, this is cracking me up! I love the exhibits – especially the butter/milk substitution and the thoughts on oven temp and time!!!

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      December 16, 2013 at 8:15 pm

      What good is my disability if I can’t make fun of it, right? 🙂

      Reply
  2. Kim@Co-Pilot Mom says

    December 17, 2013 at 4:35 am

    I love to cook, but I have had some epic kitchen fails. I slow cooked ribs for hours with the absorbent meat pad underneath them. I baked a frozen pizza on the cardboard and once mistakenly used vanilla yogurt instead of plain in squash soup. I ended up laughing about it, but it was disappointing at the time. 🙂

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      December 17, 2013 at 8:18 am

      The ability to laugh at yourself is one of the keys. Although I get the disappointing thing 🙂

      Reply
  3. Kyla@Mommy's Weird says

    December 17, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    YOU SLAY ME! LMAO! I totally get exhibit B!

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      December 17, 2013 at 6:09 pm

      Thanks, Kyla. PS. You just introduced me to a new (for me) expression: You slay me. Love it!!!

      Reply
  4. Jessica @ Just a Mum? says

    December 19, 2013 at 7:00 pm

    Oh, Mona.. lol..

    Have you ever seen Alton Brown’s cooking show “Good Eats”? I don’t even know if it’s on anymore, but it was awesome… it was all about the science and history of cooking – things like why you need butter instead of milk, or what baking soda does. But one lesson I’ve learned from all my own mistakes in the kitchen: unless you know what you’re doing? NO SUBSTITUTIONS! 🙂

    Hope your next loaf turns out delicious. 😉

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      December 19, 2013 at 7:30 pm

      Thanks, Jessica! And no, I’ve never heard of Alton Brown’s cooking show; although it sounds like something I could learn from 🙂

      Reply
  5. Ugochi says

    February 10, 2014 at 7:13 am

    You think you have kitchen fails, you have to think again, I have flunked hummus, burnt cake, made extra watery soup… this space cannot hold them all. I love to cook but I have had my fails too.
    I love the way you share this and the internet has really helped my cooking.
    Happy SITS day, have fun!

    Reply
  6. another jennifer says

    February 10, 2014 at 8:26 am

    Well, you’re a step ahead of me because I probably wouldn’t have even attempted the recipe! Baking soda? It’s in my toothpaste. Could be in the cabinet, but I can’t reach where we put all the baking-related items. Because we don’t bake! My oven is so old that it naturally burns the outside of baked goods while keeping the middle raw. Lovely.

    Happy SITS Day!

    Reply
  7. Pam says

    February 10, 2014 at 8:48 am

    Your logic seems reasonable to me! 🙂 Happy SITS day!

    Reply
  8. Rabia @TheLiebers says

    February 10, 2014 at 9:12 am

    You’ll appreciate the time I was about 10 or 11 and wanted to make some cookies. The recipe said 11/4 cups of butter. I did the math and discovered that eleven fourths of a cup of butter was the same as 2 and 3/4 cups. Needless to say, I never really got a batter and the cookies leaked all over the cookie pan!!

    Reply
  9. misssrobin says

    February 10, 2014 at 9:30 am

    But there are other things you do really well, so let others take care of the baking. Plus, if your daughter is good at it, this can be your way of affirming her. And getting someone else to do the work. Win-win I say.

    Reply
  10. laramealor.com says

    February 10, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    This is so funny! love Exhibit D.
    http://www.laramealor.com/romancing-microbiome-2/

    Reply
  11. Clotilde/Craftybegonia says

    February 10, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    Hi Mona, visiting you from The SIITS Girls. All of us have had kitchen experiences that were a total bomb. Your sense of humor in the face of culinary failure is remarkable, lol!

    Reply
  12. Jennifer-Mommy Life After Ph.D. says

    February 10, 2014 at 11:00 pm

    LOVE THIS POST!!! Hilarious:)

    Reply
  13. Anna @cafeyak says

    February 10, 2014 at 11:49 pm

    I am with you on all the logical substitutions, sadly in baking it’s a science and you can’t sidestep much. But I try to, all the time. On a serious note, definitely keep baking soda in the house, it’s almost always used in a lot of baking recipes but also great for cleaning.

    Reply
  14. Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life says

    February 11, 2014 at 2:38 am

    Baking is NOT my forte. I cook with a little of this, a little of that, and that does not work with baking. I have tons of fails! The kids groan if they see me making cookies. For the most part I stick to cooking!

    Reply
  15. NailCentric says

    February 12, 2014 at 5:42 am

    Hillarious post. I had great fun reading it! People usually blog about super successful dishes with magazine like pictures attached. Better luck next time, I am sure practice will make perfect 🙂

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Moxie-Dude - The SITS Girls says:
    February 10, 2014 at 7:01 am

    […] I’m thinking of starting my own cooking show. I’m calling it “Top Kitchen Fails”. Or possibl… […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

A book for single mothers? BOOYAH!

Buzz

“Mona’s ability to mix humor with insight is truly admirable.”
Holly Monteith, Cynren Press






Subscribe!

Enter your email address:
Loading

Recent Posts

  • How I fooled my ADHD into letting me plan my life
  • Oops I did it again
  • Awarded Humour Blogger of the Year. Well, that’s ONE way to end the year with a bang.
  • PAIN. Also known as bread in French.
  • Evil hides in my house

Recent Comments

  • Corinne Rodrigues on How I fooled my ADHD into letting me plan my life
  • Susan A McCorkindale on How I fooled my ADHD into letting me plan my life
  • Adela on How I fooled my ADHD into letting me plan my life
  • Pennie Nichols on How I fooled my ADHD into letting me plan my life
  • Alana on Oops I did it again

Archives

  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • July 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • December 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • June 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • March 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • July 2010
  • May 2010

Categories

  • #KitchenFails
  • Aging and its niceties
  • Boyfriend stories
  • Dating
  • Friday Funny
  • Guest post
  • Hamster Ramblings
  • Kids
  • Memory Lane
  • mom adventures
  • Non-travelling Adventures
  • Out & about – because Montreal is contagious
  • Out & About in Montreal
  • Pretending to be a grown-up
  • Raising teenagers
  • Random
  • Shared Thoughts
  • Single moms
  • Solutions to world problems
  • Sponsored Post
  • Technology (sort of)
  • That effin hamster
  • Travelling Adventures
  • Uncategorized
  • Weekly Wrap-up
  • Wordless Wednesday
  • Writing

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

© 2023 · Moxie-Dude · webmaster