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You are here: Home / Hamster Ramblings / Dear Technology: Mothers everywhere are thanking you for the recent lice plague.

Dear Technology: Mothers everywhere are thanking you for the recent lice plague.

March 4, 2014 by Mona Andrei 5 Comments

UPDATE: I’ve decided to make this post a “Part 1” because writing it made me remember the very first time my older girls (well in their 20s now) came home with lice. It was a “lovely” experience (pronounced: TRAU-MA-TI-ZING). I haven’t shared a hair brush since.

Hey there, awesome readers!

If you have kids, you KNOW the hell that is your-kids-coming-home-with-lice. Just to clarify, my kids do NOT have lice. At the moment. Since I have four kids and have spent many a (fucking) hour-upon-(fucking) hour preening my children, I just feel that it is my duty to warn you that there’s an apparent lice epidemic on account of technology.

And no, I have not just exceeded your expectations of my ability to muddle up current hamster thoughts. In fact, the hamster has nothing to do with this one. I read about it on the Internet. Apparently, the cause for the current lice riots is selfies. Too many kids – especially TEENAGERS – are getting head cozy as they take pictures of themselves to create beautiful memories. Except that what they’re really creating is a bridge for lice to cross over into unchartered territories and take over the world – one head at a time.

And while there are plenty of treatments out here – both “natural” and chemical – no matter which one you opt for, the most important part of any treatment is to make sure that all the nits (lice eggs) are out of your kids’ hair.

This is because nits have Keith Richards’ DNA. Nothing kills them. Nothing. So even if you do the treatment and kill all the lice, if you’ve overlooked a nit or two you can be sure that the process will start all over again once the eggs hatch in about a week.

PS. I’m purposely not adding a picture to this post because my head is itchy just thinking about lice.

Random Lice Facts

  • Contrary to popular belief, lice cannot fly or jump. They’re crawlers.
  • The plural of lice is louse.
  • Animals don’t get lice.
  • Heat kills lice.

That’s it for today. I need to go stick my head in the dryer now.

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Filed Under: Hamster Ramblings, Kids, mom adventures, Raising teenagers, That effin hamster

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kyla@Mommy's Weird says

    March 4, 2014 at 5:44 pm

    No…. No….. No.

    Reply
  2. Jessica @ Just a Mum? says

    March 4, 2014 at 5:56 pm

    And now I’m itchy. Ugh. I hate lice so much. I have to admit, when I was a kid, I was a hugger. Which is why up until about grade six, I had a chin length blunt cut. The lice still found a way. My poor mother.

    Reply
    • Mona Andrei says

      March 5, 2014 at 8:33 am

      Yup, they’re a hassle for sure. Having to wash everything, etc. I get itchy just THINKING about it!

      Reply
  3. Jenn vanOosten (@YouPinspireMe) says

    March 7, 2014 at 2:56 pm

    Adult friends of mine picked up lice somwhere, and after 3 tedious weeks, they finally called in a ‘lice expert’ who spent three sessions with their heads and it finally cleared up. I will call that person immediately if (when) we get them in our house. Ick.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Spring break and Florida: Random highlights — Moxie-Dude says:
    March 8, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    […] Dear Technology: Mothers everywhere are thanking you for the recent lice plague. […]

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