Hey there, awesome readers!
I was speaking with my friend, Sophie, the other day and she said something I have to classify as “interesting”. And by interesting I mean that I don’t agree:
“You’re so lucky to be dating. I miss those days.”
PS. I cannot tell a lie. Sophie’s name isn’t really Sophie. But she IS my friend and she really did say that and according to Shakespeare calling her by any other name doesn’t change who she is or what she said or the way she smells.
PPS. In case it isn’t obvious, Sophie is married.
Her comment opened an entire village of worm-thoughts on dating. . .
Me: Are you kidding? Dating sucks!
Sophie: What are you talking about? Dating is FUN. It’s the discovery stage. It’s when everything is new and interesting.
Me: How long have you been married again?
Sophie: 18 years.
Me: And you’re telling me that there’s nothing new and interesting anymore? You’re telling me that you don’t love the fact that you’re comfortable with each other? That you ENJOY stressing over stupid things like whether or not there’s food in your teeth? Or whether you should call him or text him or like his Facebook posts???
Sophie: You’re having a panic attack.
Me: You KNOW I’m right. It’s a universal law. Dating sucks.
Sophie: I don’t want to talk about this anymore.
All that to say that clearly I’m right and Sophie is wrong. Also, I have a question for y’all.
But first, here’s the scenario:
I’m on a date and while on said date, the hamster goes into prolific thinking mode:
OMG this is awkward!
I hate whoever invented dating.
Whoever invented dating hates me.
Who was it, anyway?
Oh I know.
It was probably my grade seven math teacher.
She hated me.
Did he just ask me a question???
I’m not talking enough. I better say something before he thinks I’m not interested.
Wait a minute.
Am I interested?
I’m not that interested.
But maybe I’m just fooling myself into thinking that I’m not interested because this is making me awkward.
Maybe I AM interested.
Maybe he’s ‘THE ONE’ and I’m ruining it because I’m awkward.
Oh no he’s not talking anymore.
Now he’s not interested.
I’m starting to get interested.
I’m ruining this.
Now what do I do?
Why does he keep looking at me like that?
Is there food on my face?
Maybe I need more wine.
I wish I was a smoker.
Then I’d have a reason to go outside before I start hyperventilating.
Oh I know.
I’ll just go to the washroom.
What if he thinks I’m an awkward sociopath and leaves while I’m gone???
I hate dating.
I should have just stayed in and watched Criminal Minds with a new box of Triscuits.
So here’s the question (broken down into SEVERAL questions):
When does this internal dialogue STOP??? When does “NEW AND INTERESTING” become NOT AWKWARD? At what point does the discovery stage become FUN???
Answers please . . .
Fine. Whatever. I’ll just date myself.
Trevor Laberge says
LMAO!! I think this is one of my most favorite posts you have put on Moxie Dude Mona because it’s so true!!
And believe me guys think the same way on a first date ( Well the honest ones will say so )
I haven’t been on a date for quite some time now but the last one I was on I felt like I was back in flippin High School again!! I was even sweating! LOL!
Keep them coming Mona your Awesome!! 🙂
Mona Andrei says
Awww thanks, Trevor. That means so much to me. And very brave (read: MANLY) of you. Most men don’t admit that the awkwardness is felt from their side as well. At least not the men that I date 🙂
I was going to talk about how I hated dating but that might give you some additional fodder for the internal dialogue.
Mona Andrei says
Okay so apparently there are a lot of people out there who HATE dating. There has to be another way!