Hey there, awesome readers!
PS. That exclamation mark is a FRAUD. I’m too tired to be exclaiming anything. Because INSOMNIA.
You may not know this (probably because it hasn’t caught on yet) but there’s a Universal Law that states:
Blog posts that are written in the middle of the night don’t count.
So according to this Universal Law, this isn’t a real post. It’s simply the result of a very long and sleepless night.
Before giving up and coming to my computer, I was actually lying (or laying; my grammar is broken at the moment), in bed, trying to make up a limerick.
This is as far as I got:
There was an old lady with insomnia …
Except that I can’t think of a single word that rhymes with insomnia. Also I think I just insulted myself. (Yo! Who are you calling ‘an old lady’???)
Since I was fighting with myself to fall asleep – and LOSING – here I am. And since I’ve been through this before (last night) I can tell you in advance what will happen next:
Eventually I’ll look at the time and realize that there is no sense in going back to bed. Possibly EVER.
I will get ready for work.
On my way to work I will decide that I need coffee.
I will pull into the nearest drive-thru and order three extra large coffees: one for my drive, one for when I get to work, and one for after I finish drinking the one that’s for when I get to work.
“Three extra large coffees, please.” (Because I’m polite. Even when I’m sleep deprived.)
*Silence*
“Hello?”
*Silence*
“Is anyone there?”
*Silence*
“Is someone there to take my order?”
*Silence*
“HELLL-OOOOO.”
And then I will realize that I am ordering from a garbage can.
As I sit here, envisioning my morning and feeling quite psychic at the precise accuracy of the events playing in my mind’s eye, or possibly the memory of another day that we’ll call “YESTERDAY”, I have to ask:
Why do I even bother?
I struggled with insomnia. Really really bad insomnia. Until our daughter. You may borrow her anytime you want 🙂
Ha! Thanks, Carla!
oh you poor thing – I hate having a bad night’s sleep and can’t begin to fathom what a whole night awake would be like. Maybe it’s time to bite the bullet and see a doctor for something to help you nod off. I take a 1/4 of a tablet each night and now I sleep like the living dead. Good luck with tonight’s sleeping! ~ Leanne
Yes, Leanne, you may be right about the doctor thing. I can’t believe it’s gotten to this point though 🙁
i hate those kind of nights, but this was so funny!
Thanks so much, Rena 🙂
What’s so unfair about insomnia is that you can’t even take advantage of the quiet and think luxurious thoughts about where you’d like to travel or who you’d like to have for dinner etc. NO. It is insomnia’s job to knock on your brain’s door all night long with all the things you forgot to do, shouldn’t have done, wish you didn’t have to do.
One. At. A. Time.
So true, Susan! I can’t even be PRODUCTIVE during my insomnia!
It’s sad how well I can relate to this post! The post is very funny though!
So glad I’m not the only one…!
Thanks, Donna 🙂
Insomnia sucks. I have suffered and looked lovingly at my bed and thinking about sleeping but it NOT HAPPENING is horrible! A doctor of surgery would be tough work for someone with insomnia. Just saying that my next surgery I might question my surgeon if he or she suffers from it.
Good idea, Haralee! One should always ask a surgeon about their sleep patterns 🙂
Is yours worse than usual these days? Mine is. My recent approach is to try and meditate myself back to sleep; the problem is that I am too tired to concentrate and so my mind wanders all over the place, and this keeps me from falling asleep. Catch 22.
Meditating myself back to sleep, used to work. Lately, NOTHING works. It’s annoying 🙁
I had insomnia on Tuesday morning. I knew it was due to not walking enough. So I got up and read a book. On Tuesday I walked. On Tuesday night and Wednesday morning I slept like a log.
You’re probably right, Priscilla! I haven’t been going to the gym for about three weeks. This may be causing my current bout of insomnia. Must. Go. Back. To. Gym.