Hey there, awesome readers!
PS. That exclamation mark is a FRAUD. I’m too tired to be exclaiming anything. Because INSOMNIA.
You may not know this (probably because it hasn’t caught on yet) but there’s a Universal Law that states:
Blog posts that are written in the middle of the night don’t count.
So according to this Universal Law, this isn’t a real post. It’s simply the result of a very long and sleepless night.
Before giving up and coming to my computer, I was actually lying (or laying; my grammar is broken at the moment), in bed, trying to make up a limerick.
This is as far as I got:
There was an old lady with insomnia …
Except that I can’t think of a single word that rhymes with insomnia. Also I think I just insulted myself. (Yo! Who are you calling ‘an old lady’???)
Since I was fighting with myself to fall asleep – and LOSING – here I am. And since I’ve been through this before (last night) I can tell you in advance what will happen next:
Eventually I’ll look at the time and realize that there is no sense in going back to bed. Possibly EVER.
I will get ready for work.
On my way to work I will decide that I need coffee.
I will pull into the nearest drive-thru and order three extra large coffees: one for my drive, one for when I get to work, and one for after I finish drinking the one that’s for when I get to work.
“Three extra large coffees, please.” (Because I’m polite. Even when I’m sleep deprived.)
“Is anyone there?”
“Is someone there to take my order?”
And then I will realize that I am ordering from a garbage can.
As I sit here, envisioning my morning and feeling quite psychic at the precise accuracy of the events playing in my mind’s eye, or possibly the memory of another day that we’ll call “YESTERDAY”, I have to ask:
Why do I even bother?