Hello, awesome readers! Let’s just dig right into that conversation, shall we?
Me (to me): Hmmm. It’s almost 5 o’clock. Maybe I should start thinking about supper.
Me: Great idea! I love it when you act like an adult. So what do you think? Popcorn?
Me (to me): No, I was thinking “real food”. Mom made roast pork when she was over last weekend. Let’s make something with the leftovers.
Me: Oh genius. But why “make something”? Why not just have leftovers?
Me (to me): Isn’t that what I just said?
Me: Whatever.
Kitchen action: Vegetables, chopped. Leftover meat, chunked. Rice, boiling. You know, all that “fun” kitchen stuff.
Me: I need to take the dogs out for a walk. You got this?
Me (to me): Does a frog have a water-tight asshole? (Infamous family expression. Translation: Yes.)
Yard action: Walk with dogs. Decide new trees and plants need watering. Physically appreciate the quiet calm of country living. Realize with panic-stricken swallow of air that I left me alone in the kitchen with the stove on. Run back to the house.
Me: Everything is burnt!!!
Me (to me): And you expected to walk back in the house to find the table set with a gourmet meal? What. Is. Wrong. With. You?
I love when you talk to yourself.
Ha ha! So do I. But only one of me.
Only talking to yourself can lead to the big house. Try talking to other people sometime, you may enjoy the exchange.
::hugs:: YES! Also, would it be horrible for me to steal #kitchenfails and put a page on my blog? If it’s horrible, can I still do it?