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You are here: Home / Writing / Can we talk about selfies for a minute?

Can we talk about selfies for a minute?

June 9, 2018 by Mona Andrei Leave a Comment

What procrastination looks like

Hey there, awesome readers!

There are a few things going on in the montage of pics above.

First of all, I admittedly look like crap because I’ve just come in from playing outside. (I took Jed for a walk then dug around in the dirt to plant some hostas and lilies in the backyard.)

The picture on the left shows that I sat down to write but was immediately hijacked by the enemy of all writers – procrastination – as demonstrated by the selfies on the right.

Just so that we’re clear, this is how selfies work for me. It’s a three-step process.

Step 1: *Click* (That’s the sound of my iPhone camera.)

Step 2: Look at pic.

Step 3: Delete pic.

Repeat.

While saying that it’s a “three-step process” may make it sound easy, it can actually take days several minutes before I finally take a pic that I’m quasi-happy with.

Obviously, I’ve omitted step 3 this time.

I’m imagining that you’re asking, WHAT’S WITH THE FISH LIPS??? (Bottom picture on the right.)

Well here’s the thing. I’m trying to get into the mindset of two young women I saw recently that were taking selfies like nobody’s business. My bottom right picture is how they were both posing while sporting ruby red and fuchsia pink lips.

My thoughts at the time?

I had no thoughts. Just a lot of eye-rolling as I walked by them.

Here’s where I get judgmental observant:

Is it just me or are fish lip poses … well, ridiculous?

I’m trying to imagine myself in my 20s …

Step into my time machine. Seat belts, please.

Okay here we go.

It’s circa 1990 and while cell phones have been invented, cell phones with cameras have not. Cameras back then, unless you were an aspiring photographer, were mostly taken out during family vacations and special occasions.

Also, pay phones and phone booths were still popular since the majority of the population hadn’t yet become completely dependent on cell phones. (Which makes me realize that the invention of cell phones must make it very difficult for Superman because where does he change into his superhero outfit now that we don’t see phone booths on every street corner???)

The next observation may be a little harder to imagine. Brace yourself.

Social media didn’t really exist in 1990. (I KNOW.)

But …

Let’s pretend it’s 1990 and these all exist as we know them today. The phone camera … social media … it’s like 2018 but in 1990.

So, I’m in my 20s and I never leave the house without my cell phone and my friends and I are taking pretty selfies that we then plaster all over our Facebook and Instagram pages.

I’m scrolling through my pretend pictures and look!

Here’s a pic of me fish-lip posing with my friend, Lisa.

Oh and here’s one of Wendy and I.

And look, Teresa! There we are!

(As an aside, somebody go register the domain names for Apple, Microsoft, McDonald’s, and the Bank of America. QUICK!!! We. Are. Going. To. Be. So. Rich.)

Back to today’s topic of discussion: Fish lip posing.

Is this something I would have done?

Apparently. My time machine doesn’t lie.

Dear 20 year olds of this Millennium: My apologies for rolling my eyes at you. I guess I WAS 20 at your age.

Dear God: Thank you SO MUCH for not having cell phones with cameras in the ‘90s. I’m genuinely grateful that there is no evidence of all the dumbass things I did in my 20s.

Dear my kids: Just kidding.

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