Hello, awesome readers!
Notice the exclamation mark. This is because I. Am. Alive.
Yesterday when I got home from the office there was a van parked in front of my house.
All good. So far nothing out of the ordinary. I watered my lawn, puttered around the house, did laundry … you know, usual after the work day stuff.
Then I sat on my couch and watched FBI: Criminal Pursuit.
As I was getting ready to go to bed, I realized that said (now suspicious) van was STILL PARKED OUTSIDE MY HOUSE.
This is when I decided that maybe I should tell someone. I wanted to leave an important breakthrough clue for my impending disappearance. Naturally, I texted my someone …
When I woke up this morning, I was alive and the van was gone. It was a restless sleep. At first, I was going to leave the light on all night but then I realized that the serial killer would have direct access to me after I fell asleep. So instead I set up a booby trap. I put a bunch of things in front of my bed (vacuum cleaner, ironing board, shoes, etc.) and closed the light.
Then I got back in bed and waited for the sounds of someone tripping over stuff. Except I guess I fell asleep and here I am.
I’m never watching TV again.
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Susie Klein says
Hilarious! So glad this will not be needed for evidence!
Priscilla King says
Teenager to other teenager: “Heeeey, I’ve got Mom’s MINIVAN. We can park on a side street in front of a house and lie down in the back…”
Janet Mary Cobb says
Or you could use that fabulous imagination to write a novel! Thanks for the morning chuckle.
Yes, a novel. That’s it! You’ll make a fortune.then, you’ll have to track the van owner down to give him/her a cut. Further adventures await.
Margot Potter says
Now that we live i.n a neighborhood weird people park in front of our house all of the time. Often to go see my neighbor who has a long driveway with plenty of parking he doesn’t use. I don’g know why it drives me nuts, but it does. Park at the house you are visiting! Sheesh! I am turning into that older lady. This scares me. Sorry for your sleepless night, but glad you made it out okay!
débora Ewing says
::whew::: I’m glad it’s not just me. I mean, it wasn’t just me *in the van*. I have no knowledge of that van. If it ever happens again, put a card in the window that says “I’M WATCHING YOU AND SO IS EVERYBODY ON MY BLOG.” and then, just as a deflection, leave my blog address instead of yours, so you’ll be safe.
Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says
OMG this text convo is hilarious!
Mona Andrei says
Thanks! I honestly only realized that the next day. At the time I was pretty paranoid 🙂