Well hello there, awesome readers!
While this is mostly known as a humor blog, what I’m about to share with you is no laughing matter. This is a story about a man who failed at his responsibilities as a father …
Just ten minutes before I was to become a single mother, I was sitting in my living room reading A Woman of Substance by Barbara Taylor Bradford. It was 1989 and I was 24 years old.
A lot has happened since then. I went on to read all seven books in Barbara Taylor Bradford’s series. I’ve come to learn that no matter what challenges Life puts on your path, the most important life skill is an ability to laugh at yourself. And I’ve observed that things always come back to bite you in the ass.
You see, when I became a single mother, I also became the sole provider. The father to “our” two daughters did not help out financially and even moved to the other side of the country when “our” girls were still very little. Although he was not regular or even reliable with his visits prior to his move, he was still their father and the only father they knew. When he moved away, he broke their hearts.
And now I’ve written a book titled, SUPERWOMAN: A Funny and Reflective Look at Single Motherhood and even though I haven’t spoken to said failed father in about eleventy thousand years, he has heard about this book. I know this because he expressed his concern about it recently to “our” eldest daughter who is now in her 30s.
The book is written in memoir-style and shares some of my journey as a single mom and since said failed father TOOK OFF when “our” girls were very young, I can understand his concern. Except that I don’t go into too much detail about his failedness because the book isn’t about him (LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, FAILED FATHER). The book is actually about what life is like when you’re left holding the bag. And by bag, I mean a toddler and a baby and ZERO SUPPORT.
There’s a quote by writer Anne Lamott that I love. She says, “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”
I know I said that this post is no laughing matter except that I have a word – just one – that I’d like to say to said failed father: HA!
Oh! And since I do have an ounce of empathy for your feelings, I’m really sorry that you feel concern about me sharing what our lives were like after you left. But really, you should have behaved better.
###
Subscribe to this blog and get notified when new posts are up. How do you subscribe? Just enter your email address in the subscription box on the right.
Bravo Mona, my biggest sigh of relief is when my daughter’s failed father signed over his rights as a parent to me. Imagine trying to get a passport signed when he lived 1000’s of miles across the country. Or being asked where the father is on Father’s Day as I cross the USA border: “I don;t know, here is the paperwork” That memory still stings my eyes with tears. I’m looking forward to this book because I don’t think I have ever given myself enough credit for raising her alone.
Hugs to you, Patty. I can imagine and it hurts even if it’s not my story. My wish for this book is that it not only helps you take credit for raising your daughter alone, but reminds you of what a superwoman you truly are!
Well said!
Thank you, Louise!
Being a single mother is hard enough but without support it’s awful. I’m sure your book will be a success.
Thank you, Rebecca. We’re hoping to get it in as many hands as need to read it. It truly is the book I would have needed to read when I was a young, single mother. I felt alone and overwhelmed much of the time and the book is a reminder that although being a parent is one of the most important jobs, remembering our own dreams and aspirations is also important.
Awesome post. I revel in your HA! You know I can relate and you’re spot on that it 100% about you and your kids and your survival story.
People reap what they sow and you raised amazing kids on your own. His garden is baron on his own accord.
Thank you for having the courage to share your story. You’re an inspiration to us all. ❤️
Wow! Thank YOU, Wendy! Your words mean so much to me 🙂
That ‘Ha!’ says it all!
Well done, Mona!