When I say that there’s a mouse in my house, I am not trying to sound like Dr. Seuss

Well hello there, awesome readers!

Have you ever had one of those weeks where everything is going fine and then all of a sudden *BOOM* you go from sitting quietly in your living room to screaming hysterically into your phone?

That’s how my week went. 

Monday

I look at my agenda and realize that I’m all booked up. I’m looking forward to a week filled with writing – both on my own projects and client work. It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

Tuesday

Same. I even fit in a bit of “me” time and got in some dance practice. (Oh! Have I mentioned that when I’m not writing, I’m dancing? Yeah. It makes me feel … I don’t know. Like I’m coordinated or something.)

Wednesday

WEDNESDAY. My evil nemesis. *said as I stand with hands on hips, superhero cape fanned out behind me, ready to take on the world … almost. It’s hard to take on the world when your cape is just an old housecoat you have draped over your shoulders*

Wednesday began like any other day. I woke up. So far, so good. I happily got through my working hours, and even enjoyed a glass of wine with my dinner-for-one. (You may have seen my post on Instagram.)

Soon after dinner, I was sitting in the living room playing Scrabble on my phone against random strangers when my young adult son came out of his room to make himself a cup of coffee. I know what you’re thinking so let’s get that out of the way before we continue. You’re asking yourself, “Why were you eating dinner by yourself when your son was home?”

Fair question. My son is in university and is on a mission to get his degree by the end of this year. He spends a lot (pronounced: A LOT) of time studying in his room.

Back to our story. And please save any further questions for the end because just thinking about what happened next makes my skin crawl.

To reset the scene, so there I am sitting in the living room absorbed in a game of Scrabble when my son comes down from his room. He may have said something to me like, “hey, mom” but to be honest, I didn’t hear it. I was too absorbed in trying to create words with the highest score. I guess you can say I was in a word bubble. And would you like to know what is perhaps one of the few sounds that can penetrate a well-adjusted word bubble? I shall tell you. Hearing your son scream like a girl. 

Startled from the inside out and then before I had time to pull my soul back into my body, my son comes running out of the kitchen screaming, “MOM! THERE’S A MOUSE IN THE KITCHEN. I SAW IT! I SAWWWWWWW IT!!!!!!!!!” (His man-voice was cracking so I knew he wasn’t talking about a dust bunny.)

Still without my full soul intact, I ran into the kitchen and started banging on everything with a closed fist. The kitchen table. The counter. The island. 

And then I saw it! Scared out of its wits, the mouse ran under the stove. Not to sound woo-woo or anything but in that moment in time, the mouse and I had one thing in common: we were two beings existing with our souls trailing somewhere behind us.

The next thing I know I’m yelling into the phone. First, I called my someone.

“DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW?? I’LL TELL YOU WHAT’S IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW. A MOUSE IS IN MY HOUSE. A FREAKING MOUSE. A. MOUSE. IS. IN. MY. HOUSE. I NEED TO MOVE.”

I have no idea how my someone responded. I was too hysterical to hear anything besides the sound of my own voice. And in my defense, I still hadn’t fully re-gathered my soul. I think it was too afraid to come back because let’s face it, I was a rabid mess.

After that I called my dad.

“I HAVE A MOUSE IN MY HOUSE. DO YOU HAVE ANY OF THAT STUFF?”

By “stuff” I may have partially meant a shotgun but luckily my dad understood stuff to mean rat poison. He assured me that he had some and I was getting ready to drive out to get it but when I called my someone back to tell him about my very well thought out plan of attack, he reminded me of what year we’re in. The year right after 2020. He also reminded me that we’re in a pandemic and that there’s an 8 p.m. curfew.

“YOU MEAN I HAVE TO SLEEP LIKE THIS??? I CAN’T SLEEP KNOWING THAT THERE’S A MOUSE IN MY HOUSE!”

As you can tell, I was not happy.

Oh! And in case you’re wondering where Jed, my big, ferocious dog was while this was all happening, he was hiding in my bedroom. I live with two males: my son and my dog. Both of them, useless in this situation.

Lucky for me, I am surrounded by great people. Yesterday, Thursday, one of my best friends drove out to my parent’s house to pick up the poison and my someone came over with traps. This house is now well equipped and ready for a rodent Armageddon. 

A happy ending. Well maybe not for the mouse. This morning my someone found it in one of the traps. During the night it had come out from its hiding place looking for peanut butter and ended up finding its soul.

And you? How was your week?

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