Hello, awesome readers!
“Holy freak, Mona! You missed out on an opportunity!”
That’s what my friend Cindy said to me recently after I told her about … Oh wait! I need to get a few people (read: my parents) up to speed on a few terms first.
troll
noun
A human being that has nothing better to do than post stupid hostile comments on social media with the sole intention to cause a war instigate conflict. Also see asshat.
asshat
noun
synonym: asshole
Back to why Cindy accused me of missing an opportunity.
Sometimes, including recently, I get TROLLED. (Oh look! The word troll can also be used as a verb.)
This is what happened …
I had shared a screenshot of a review about my recent book, “SUPERWOMAN: A Funny and Reflective Look at Single Motherhood” on Instagram – A FIVE STAR review, by the way – because life is a journey (not a destination) and I feel it is important to celebrate the milestones. And so in that spirit … BOUYA!!!
And because I’m surrounded by (mostly) wonderful people, the feedback was supportive, encouraging, and positive.
Except!
Hiding within the comments someone was unkind, which I believe is more a reflection of them than it is of me. Here’s what this asshat had to say. (Note that the words troll and asshat can be used interchangeably.)
“Old, single women are too bitter to be funny.”
When I took a screenshot and sent it to my someone, his response was, “Obviously this person doesn’t know you.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed and laughed and then I blocked the troll.
I’m not going to lie to you. The first three words to pop in my head after I read his comment and before I shared it with my someone were, “go fuck yourself.” (In fact, I did indeed get the last word as you can see if you zoom in on the pencil in the image above.
Oh wait! Here’s a zoomed in version for you below.
I’m not Mother Teresa. Although I did want to commend him on his spelling and proper use of grammar.
Enter Cindy.
A few days later I was chatting with my friend Cindy and when I mentioned this to her, she responded with, “Holy freak, Mona! You missed out on an opportunity!”
Oh. You knew that already. But what you don’t know is that she also said, “If you would have responded, it could have triggered a conversation or better yet, an online battle of words.”
The question is, do I really want to engage with someone like that? (Not Cindy but the troll.)
The answer is a definitive NO. (Sorry, Cindy.)
Some people believe that “any publicity” is good publicity.
I disagree.
Why would I give someone like that my attention?
Why would I exert my hard-earned energy on such negativity? Yes, hard-earned. Promoting yourself and your work takes energy. Takes courage. Takes a mindful deep breath and reminder that it’s not about YOU, but about the people you serve. If you’re a creative, a content creator, a person who “makes things”, then you know what I’m talking about.
What would you do?
Would you have engaged?
Would you ignore the comment?
Was blocking him the right thing to do? (I didn’t realize this but by blocking him, his comment disappeared. Good thing I took a screenshot to send to my someone.)
And best question ever: Has this ever happened to you?
Meanwhile, here’s a link to my latest article on Yummy Mummy club: How a Teacher’s Ridicule Helped Form How I Parent.
Happy Reading!
✍🏻📚
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I picked up a troll several years ago. They were . . . interesting, for lack of a better term.
At first, I tried to laugh them off. But as the comments got more and more pointed, I finally had to employ comment moderation. Ugh.
The troll wasn’t happy about that. For several days, their comments were especially vicious. But, as I never responded and said comments were never published, they finally gave up and disappeared. Hallelujah!
As a writer, my ‘love language’ is unashamedly ‘words of affirmation’. It’s painful to read those negative comments.
Know that your book is wonderful. And you are a talented, amazing writer!
Thanks so much for your kind words, Diane!
I would definitely block him. He isn’t worth your time.
Thanks, Rebecca! Agreed 🙂
Life is too short. I think most bloggers have been trolled. Sad that it comes with the territory. Personally, I do not engage.
I don’t blame you, Alana! It’s pointless.
Sadly, there are folks that get their jollies from annoying other people….and their writing.
They have nothing better to do; however, you do! You have a wonderful blog, books, newsletters, speaking engagements…..your list goes on. You are living life to the fullest while they are possibly living in a small bedroom in their mother’s doublewide.
They don’t deserve your time.
Thank you, Nancy! You’re right and I love your visual of trolls living in a small bedroom in their mother’s doublewide! It’s my new go-to for when I read their stupidity 🙂