Hey there, sleepy head!
If you’re having trouble sleeping, I share a great resource at the end of this post. Keep reading!
Sleep. It’s something we absolutely need to function properly and yet most of us complain about it. The complaints follow the stages of our lives beginning at around six months after we’re born. This is when we begin growing teeth. And it hurts. The pain keeps us awake, in turn causing us to keep our parents and siblings awake. Apparently, sharing is caring.
The next sleep deprivation phase begins when we start watching the world and all its scariness. This includes the big, purple monsters we watch on TV. This is when bad dreams begin to keep us up at night.
From here we move into the crush deprivation phase where we notice people that we like and start thinking about them ALL NIGHT LONG.
What happens next? We begin talking to said crushes and texting them into ridiculous o’clock. The next thing we know, the sun is up and it’s time to get our asses out of bed to face the day. Are we tired? You betchya. But hiding fatigue at this age is relatively easy. Our cell phones may be dead but we’re ready for the day!
After this we reach the adulting phase. Here we begin to experience concerns. We worry about bills and our health choices and career options. The list goes on and on. What keeps us company throughout the night are questions like, “Did I make the right decision?” And, “If I fall asleep RIGHT NOW, how many hours of sleep will I get?” These are the questions that haunt us into the wee hours. Since we’re a little older, people begin to say things to us like, “You look tired.” This adds to our crankiness.
And then we’re into the teething phase all over again except now it’s our babies that go through the wonderful experience of growing teeth in their mouths. (Whoever invented the baby monitor was probably a nun that couldn’t have children of her own. I don’t know her, but I hate her.)
As we get further into the middle age years, our sleep patterns take on a whole new meaning. Translation: We sleep for a few hours, wake up, and pull a muscle from tossing and turning. It’s awesome.
Then almost overnight, we find ourselves into our senior years. According to studies, the older we get, the less sleep we need. I don’t know what tool they used to measure this ‘need’, but I disagree. I’m tired damn it. (No exclamation mark on purpose. I’m too sleep deprived to muster that kind of energy.)
All this to say that the first six months of our lives is when we get our best sleep. After that, our purpose in life is to find ways to cover up how tired and cranky we are.
Oh! And that resource I promised you!
Visit SleepingBetter.co for product reviews, information on the science of sleep, and tips – all better sleep related.
I need a nap and so do you. Let’s agree to meet up again soon, when we’re not as cranky.
Mona Andrei is an award-winning humor blogger, columnist, and author. In her most recent book, SUPERWOMAN: A Funny and Reflective Look at Single Motherhood, she shares her challenges and triumphs as a single mother as well as stories from other single mothers.
Mona is also the host of the Single Moms with Moxie podcast.
When Mona isn’t writing or interviewing single mothers, you can probably find her dancing. As a member of a competitive hip hop team, she likes to think that she’ll stay young and cool forever. She may be delusional.