On the latest episode of the Single Moms with Moxie podcast, I had an awesome conversation with Maeve Moriarty, a single mom from Ireland. If you’ve listened to the podcast, you know that I always end each episode with a question:
“If you could go back in time and chat with younger you, what would you tell her?”
Maeve’s response? Find your tribe!
This was so insightful, that here I am writing about it… the importance of finding your tribe when you’re a single mom.
Let’s face it. Solo parenting little humans is no joke. It often feels like you’re juggling three loads of laundry while carpooling one kid to dance class and another to a friend’s house, AND attempting to make a healthy version of macaroni and cheese – all at the same time.
Being a single mom is a full-time job with no breaks and no vacations. Eleven out of seven days, we’re just barely keeping it together.
Can I get an Amen to that?
But here’s the thing. Even though we’re single moms, we don’t have to do it alone. As the saying goes, “it takes a village,” and when it comes to raising kids as a single mom, that village becomes even more important. That’s where finding your tribe comes in.
Sidenote about the word “tribe.” For the purposes of this blog post, let’s call it the Sisterhood of Single Moms. (Because it has a nice, badass ring to it.)
What is the Sisterhood of Single Moms, you ask? Let me begin by telling you what it’s not. It’s not an official organization. It’s simply (notice I didn’t say “just?”) a group of single moms who have each other’s backs. We’re like a support group, but with more wine, more laughing, and more support. We’re like your favourite bra, only more comfortable.
We all know that as a single mom, it’s easy to feel isolated and alone. You’re the only adult in the house, and there’s no one to share the load with you. And by load I don’t just mean laundry. I mean EVERYTHING. The chores. The bills. The decisions.
But with the Sisterhood of Single Moms, you never have to feel that way. We’re all in the same boat, and we understand what it’s like to feel overwhelmed, stressed out, and on the edge of insanity.
So, what does a typical Sisterhood of Single Moms gathering look like? Well, for starters, there’s usually wine involved. Lots and lots of wine. We like to joke that it’s the glue that holds us together. But it’s not just about the alcohol – it’s about the camaraderie and the sense of community.
We understand each other.
Sometimes we gather at each other’s houses. Other times we log online for a virtual wine (whine?) and chat. We commiserate about our kids’ tantrums, swap stories about our exes, and share tips and tricks for getting through the day-to-day struggles of single parenthood. We encourage each other to make brave career changes and even share our dreams of becoming the next best thing on Dragon’s Den.
One thing that’s great about the Sisterhood of Single Moms is that there’s no judgement and no budget. Come as you are, own who you are, and know that you’re in a safe place.
We all know that parenting is hard, and there’s no one “right” way to do it. So, if you’re having a meltdown because your kid won’t eat anything except mashed potatoes for the fifth day in a row, we’ll listen and maybe even come up with fun ways to hide broccoli under that heap of potatoes.
But it’s not just all complaining and venting – we also have a lot of fun. There’s no better feeling than KNOWING that someone has your back. That someone understands what you’re going through: the good, the bad, AND the ugly.
Of course, there are times when things get serious. Single parenting can be stressful, and sometimes we need to talk about deeper issues. When you’re with your sisters, that’s when you can openly discuss topics like co-parenting (or what co-parenting?), financial struggles, and dealing with the emotional toll of a breakup. But even during those serious moments, we still manage to find the humour and the lightness in the situation. After all, laughter really is the best medicine.
So, to all the single moms out there… you’re not alone. FIND YOUR TRIBE.
Mona Andrei is an award-winning humor blogger, columnist, and author. In her most recent book, SUPERWOMAN: A Funny and Reflective Look at Single Motherhood, she shares her challenges and triumphs as a single mother as well as stories from other single mothers.
Mona is also the host of the Single Moms with Moxie podcast.
When Mona isn’t writing or elevating other single mothers, you can probably find her dancing. As a member of a competitive hip-hop team, she likes to think that she’ll stay young and cool forever. She may be delusional.