And this is why I’m not a life coach.

Hiya, awesome readers!

You’ve heard it before, but I have to say it here again for you to get my point…

With age comes wisdom.

It makes sense, right?

I mean, the longer you live, the more crap you go through, the wiser you become, yadda, yadda, yadda.

It’s logic.

Except…

Now in my 50s, I think I’ve reached a point in life where I can feel confident in my disagreeance with that statement.

There. You see? I’ve been a writer for decades… DEC-ADES. I’ve written thousands of articles, columns, and blog posts. Some of the big-brand marketing campaigns you see were planned and written by yours truly. I’ve even written books. And STILL, I can’t find the right variation of the word “disagree.”

* Insert eye-roll *

It’s the pressure. There’s just soooo much pressure around this age-acquired “wisdom” – this expectation to be wiser than I actually am – that it makes me question my every decision. Especially when I go on TikTok and see 12-year-old girls giving life advice on how changing your mindset is “the key to everything.”

Yup. Looking at my spine over here.

Don’t judge me but when I was 12, my biggest dilemma was figuring out how to hide the monster pimple that had erupted while I was busy sleeping.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but in today’s world of social media dominance, everyone’s either a life coach or an influencer. Even my neighbor’s cat has an impressive Instagram following.

But despite my lack of finesse in the fine art of adulting, I’ve developed my own unique approach through this maze of existence.

Step 1:

Wine.

That’s it. Just wine.

Step 2:

Stop blaming everyone else for your problems.

It’s not your parent’s fault and it’s not your ex’s fault. Whatever crap shit-show you’re going through, it’s probably because of some stupid decision YOU made.

So, suck it up, buttercup. You’ll figure this out and come out of it a better person.

Step 3 is optional:

Make Google your best friend.

(Oh, come on! You’ve never googled how to fold a fitted sheet?)

And that, my friends, is why I’m not a life coach.

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Mona Andrei is an award-winning humour blogger and author known for her entertaining perspective on life’s quirks. In her most recent book, SUPERWOMAN: A Funny and Reflective Look at Single Motherhood, she shares her journey of challenges and triumphs along with stories and insights from other single mothers around the globe.

When Mona isn’t writing, ten times out of nine, you’ll find her practicing her dance moves. As a member of a competitive hip hop team, she likes to think that she’ll stay young and cool forever. She may be delusional.