Hey there, awesome readers!
Okay, fine. I guess I’ll be the one to say it:
I HATE teslas.
There. You happy now? And if you look back, you’ll notice that I didn’t capitalize the word tesla. Yup. That’s how much I hate them.
And don’t even get me started on that big chunk of metal mess they’re calling the cybertruck. Seriously. What is that? Every time I see one driving down the street, I think, “Oh, here we go again. Showing off that we don’t need a driver.” Because everyone knows these things can drive themselves.
Where are they going anyway? And what’s the rush all the time? They’re always speeding, and we all know that once they get to wherever, there won’t be anything for it to do except drive itself back home.
Speaking of speeding, they NEVER get a ticket. What’s up with that??? I mean, I get it. No cop is going to give a cybertruck a ticket because, well… how are they going to pay for it? cybertrucks don’t have bank accounts. But here’s an idea! The cops can send the tickets to good old elon. (Again, no capitalization. I hate that guy too.) elon can certainly pay for all the speeding tickets. I mean there’s probably only seven cybertrucks in the world because they’re so damn ugly. cybertrucks look like something from the future AND something from the past. And by past, I mean I can see The Terminator driving one.
In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, The Terminator is a movie featuring a young Arnold Schwarzenegger. The sci-fi story takes place in 1984 AND the future – which is technically today, I guess.
Where was I? Oh yeah. cybertrucks. They’re ugly. I saw one go through a McDonald’s drive through the other day, and I thought, “Seriously, cybertruck? Are you THAT bored? You can’t even eat.”
And then I saw a human’s hand come out of the window. It flashed a credit card and took the bag of food. That’s when I realized that this cybertruck wasn’t driving itself. Except that it probably was because how can a person drive AND eat a Big Mac? Again. Showing off.
You know what? Maybe this isn’t about teslas. Maybe this is about me realizing that I’ve officially become that lady who complains about “kids these days.” Except instead of kids, it’s cars. Cars that can drive, park, and probably cook better than I can.
I’m fine. Really. Thanks for listening.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go manually unlock my car like it’s 1998.
I’ve grown to hate them too, and that horrible DOGE man. What a time we live in.
Yup.
I love the witty and relatable humor in this post—it’s a hilarious take on the ‘future’ of cars and a perfect reminder that sometimes we just miss the simplicity of manually unlocking our doors without a computer getting involved
Thanks for visiting and for your kind words 🙂