Well, hello there, awesome readers!
It’s been a hot minute, hasn’t it?
But I assure you, I have not been avoiding you or this blog. I’ve actually been thinking a lot about you. Especially since I’ve not been writing here. And not out of laziness. Truth be told, I have been writing.
Two ghostwriting projects are in the works. (Both memoirs, both riveting, both important.) And of course the second edition of SUPERWOMAN – A Funny and Reflective Look at Single Motherhood. This edition is called The Sh*t They Don’t Tell You edition.
Sidenote to anyone who hasn’t read the first edition: Don’t bother. The second edition is much better. New voices (I interviewed adults raised by single moms), new stories, new reflections. According to the cover, it’s “15% funnier, 25% more reflective, and 100% more inspiring.” I’m not sure where these stats came from but they’re in a starburst so must be true.
Sidenote to anyone who HAS read the first edition: Thank you. And my apologies. I guess I just wasn’t ready to write the second, expanded edition until now.
Okay. Enough explaining myself and apologies. Geesh. You’d think I was Canadian or something. Oh. I AM Canadian. Well, sorry for that too. Except, sorry not sorry. I like being Canadian.
OMG. Somebody, stop me. Can we PLEASE get to the point.
The point… Now where was I?
Oh, yes! The other thing that’s been on my mind (besides you) is a thought: What if I suddenly die and don’t have time to get rid of the evidence?
Ha! I KNEW the word “evidence” would get your attention.
Calm down. I haven’t killed anyone. The evidence I’m talking about is a bottle of Lax-A-Day in my desk drawer. It’s unopened and was bought for one of my kids. (I can say that because I have FOUR kids and none of them will admit to asking me to buy it for them.) I was supposed to give it to them discreetly, but I guess I forgot about it and there it sits. It’s been sitting in my desk for about seven years. I’m pretty sure you can’t get more discreet than that.
So, I guess my kid forgot too or has simply gotten over their “occasional” problem.
Why is this on my mind? Because recently (like yesterday), my someone was helping me set up new screens on my desk and was drilling holes for the screen arms and opened the drawer – yes, THAT drawer – the one with the Lax-A-Day bottle that’s been collecting dust and possibly even expired by now (sorry, my kid). And while I KNOW he saw it, he didn’t say anything. (Apparently, we’re just FULL of discretion in this household.)
Meanwhile my brain was screaming, “WAIT! THAT’S NOT MINE.”
But then I stopped myself because I realized I’d have to explain who it was for and because I try to be a good mother who protects her children from, well, whatever, I thought, “Meh. Let him think what he thinks.” Kind of like Maria Antoinette’s, “Let them eat cake.” Except with less cake and more occasional problems.
All that to say that now I’m doing a mental rolodex exercise of what else do I have in my house – what other EVIDENCE – do I need to get rid of in case I suddenly wake up dead?
Scanning my brain…
Yup. I can almost assure you… no dead bodies.
Well, that’s a relief. Perhaps not the kind my kid wanted seven years ago but still… a relief.
Isn’t it funny how the things we’re embarrassed by are proof that we’re human?
PS. If you’d like a sneak peek of the second, expanded edition of SUPERWOMAN, click here.
PPS. With a sub-title like The Sh*t They Don’t Tell You, you KNOW you have to check it out. Or share the link. Or both.
Happy reading!
The shit they don’t tell you about. Some of us went through HELL when a helper sold our blogs to an outfit in some foreign country. It took anger and in some cases money to get our work back. Those of us who went through this were very HUMAN. We loved this person, but did not see what was going on in the background. We mourned her loss, but we also wanted to ask WHY DID YOU DO THIS? And life goes on. Thanks for your post.
If Lax A Day is your biggest secret, you got nuthin’ to hide! LOL
Hi Mona, Maybe my last comment didn’t go through. I mentioned that since I’ve been journal writing for 40 years, I wonder what will happen to them when I leave this earth someday. Still, not sure. Most of them are boring, but some I’d rather not have people read. Interesting problem.