Happy Friday Eve, awesome readers!
To put this post into context, here’s a conversation between Greg and I (uncensored because what fun would that be?) …
Me: I think I have kneecap cancer.
Me: What do you mean “yup”. This could be SERIOUS.
Greg: Just like your eyeball cancer, lip cancer, and pinkie toe cancer, this too will pass. Do you even listen to yourself?
Me: Why would I listen to myself? That would be like talking to myself. Everybody knows that only creepy people talk to themselves.
Me: I HATE IT WHEN YOU END A CONVERSATION WITH “YUP”.
Greg: You DO talk to yourself.
Me: Only when I’m writing. I have to. I need to hear how things sound out loud.
At this point I just walked away from the conversation. Now that you have a little bit of background on my current ailment – my kneecap cancer – I need you to know, awesome readers, that this excruciating knee pain has NOTHING to do with my age. I know this because I’ve been having on-again/off-again knee pain since I was in my 20s. (Which is almost like saying that I had knee pain last year. In a 25th-Anniversary-of-my-25th-Birthday kind of way.)
Then last night while I was hopping around my mother’s house like a drunken kangaroo (I was NOT drinking at the time. Almost.), my mother gave me some spray stuff.
My mom: Here, dear. This will help your arthritis.
Me: I DON’T HAVE ARTHRITIS. OLD PEOPLE HAVE ARTHRITIS.
At which point I walked away from that conversation too. (In a hobbled kind of way.)
I can’t really tell you the name of the “stuff” my mom gave me. Mostly because I don’t remember what it’s called but also because it didn’t work and I don’t want you to spend your money on a product that doesn’t work. Unless if your intention is to smell like an old person. Then it totally works.
Dorothy Salvatori says
I smell like old people too. Except for those day when I smell like cabbage. It you really want to color outside of the lines, try taking a path and wrapping your knee with cabbage leaves uncooked. keep them on even after getting out of the tub. It relieves inflamation.
Mona Andrei says
Hi, Dorothy! I’m always amazed at how nature has all the medicine we need. Thanks for the tip!